Surrender: My Conceiving Story and Upper Limits
Your Biggest Vision
Season 3, Ep. 109
Do you ever feel like the universe is not working out in your favor? Like you keep hitting walls, and you’ve lost all your power?
Then today’s episode is for you.
A trip to Chicago, a close Bronco’s game, and becoming a mother have all represented the power of surrender, even when (and especially when) life doesn’t look like it’s working out.
In today’s episode, I will be sharing:
Some insane stories of surrender from my real life
Pushing past your limits, and recognizing when you’ve done enough
Recognizing the path you’re on, and how to maximize your power.
Want to be coached by Leah directly? Head to her waitlist to be the first to know when spots open up. And get the chance to win a FREE intensive with Leah! Leahgervais.com/waitlist
If you want more inside business secrets, then head over to my Seven-Figure Secrets Podcast! There, we discuss what goes on behind the scenes of running a seven figure business, and I give you the scoop on how to make it happen for you.
Hear the Episode
Leah Gervais: Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Your Biggest Vision Show. This is Leah. And today we have a few little anecdotal stories that all might feel very different and kinda random, but they all are interweaving with a theme that’s been very on my mind lately in the most beautiful ways, which is the theme of surrender, the concept of handing over your destiny and knowing when you’ve done all you can and then expecting things to work out and sometimes work out even better than you thought they would.
So, a few things before I start this episode. First of all, I wanna give a shout out to a friend and scalar side hustle alum, Clarissa Bri, I believe is how you pronounce her last name. Um, but I was listening to her podcast, fertility Friends, where she shares her journey to conceiving and becoming a mother. And it gave me so many ahas about my own journey that I hadn’t even really acknowledged because she is so, I mean, she’s a fertility coach, it’s what she does, and she knows so much more about what goes into the journey of conceiving and the science behind it, honestly, than I do, because, um, I’m not a fertility coach.
So hearing her share her story through the lens of her expertise brought it off. So I put off so many aha moments and just kind of clicked in my own mind about my own and made me realize looking backward how many things went into this that I didn’t even realize at the time. So I wanted to share some of that.
So I’m going to be talking a little bit about my journey, my own journey to pregnancy and becoming a mom, and how the pattern of surrender has really served me in entrepreneurship as well as in my personal life. I’m also going to share a fun story that I think, uh, represents surrender very clearly in our day-to-day life. Uh, but before we do any of that, I wanna do a little bit of announcements. So we are here in October. This is my favorite time of year for many reasons.
Personally, it’s because I love New York in the fall and the holidays professionally. It’s because we usually do a lot of exciting work building up to the following year. And with that comes the opening of the applications to my 2024 Mastermind. My mastermind is a program that I have been perfecting and cultivating for the past five years. It is for female entrepreneurs that have a six figure or more goal in mind for the following year. It is meant to be a supportive community, unlike anything else you have in your day-to-day life.
And this doesn’t mean you don’t have a supportive husband or parent or partner or friend or anything like that, but it probably means that you don’t have people in your day-to-day life that are on the playing field with you actually experiencing entrepreneurship with you. I myself feel blessed with a supportive mother and father in heaven and husband and friends, but up until for, for most of my journey, it, they, they had no idea what I was going through.
They had no way to relate to every resource you have, essentially being on the line in your business and how emotional that can be and how, how, how intense the ups and downs can be. So having a group of women who not only can understand and empathize with you but are supporting you and you are learning from and are learning from you and are really in your corner through a whole year, is, there’s really no price on it. In fact, I think the community is worth the investment of the Mastermind alone, but there’s lots of other things that come with it.
You’re coached by me. My mastermind is run exclusively by me, unlike many of my other programs where we have a co-coach and, uh, customer service support and all of them are fabulous. But if you really want to just learn from me and just be coached by me and just get the insight into my business, the mastermind is the place to do that.
And you also get two retreats with it, which are, I I think I also think the two retreats alone are worth the investment of the Mastermind because they are so spectacular and transformative and really bring the group together in a way that is just unique and that you don’t experience from, you know, internet friends, all that frequently.
So if you’re interested at all, you can apply on my website or via the link in my Instagram bio or you can shoot me a message. But if you are somewhat even somewhat interested now this month of October is the time to apply because this is when we offer fast action pricing to anyone who, uh, is accepted. So you, there’s no strings attached by applying. It’s just to kind of see if you’d be a good fit, if we think that we’d be able to help you, and then if and only if we extend the offer, you would be eligible for that discount.
So there’s lots of reasons to apply right now. In addition to my mastermind this year, for the first year I am hosting, this is a dream come true for me, a Christmas in New York retreat. I am, it’s no secret that I’m obsessed with New York, and I don’t wanna sound overly dramatic here, but the holidays in New York are the best thing in the entire planet ever that’s existed in the universe, period, not overdramatic.
So whether or not you have never experienced the holidays in New York or you live here, but might be realizing that either you don’t experience them as much as you should because life gets in the way, or you want to experience them through the lens of harnessing them to plan your following year, then I highly, highly suggest you consider this retreat. We’ve made it very affordable. Um, e everything’s included, all the activities, all the meals, everything like that is, is part of it.
Um, flights, transportation and accommodations are not included, but everything once you get here is, and because it’s not included, you can really make that as expensive, or inexpensive as you want. And there are, uh, six spots left for that at the time of this recording on October 12th. If you are a current client, we are offering discounts to you. If you are a 2024 client, we are offering a deeper discount to you. So if you have any questions about that, please let me know. Please reach out to me. You can email me at email@example.com, or you can, uh, message me on Instagram, which is, uh, Leah Gervias.
Okay. So those are the announcements we have going on right now. I hope to see you guys in any or either of them, but in the, but until then, let’s go ahead and share what we came to talk about in this episode, which is surrender.
So I wanna start with a little story before I kind of get into my, uh, journey about conceiving. ’cause this is obviously gonna be a little bit sideways from business. It’s all very related to business, but I wanted to illustrate it with some different stories other than business itself because I talk so much about that. And I think that having a mindset that you can, a muscle that you can practice outside of business makes it even easier to do in business.
So I wanna give some kind of normal life examples. A few weeks ago, uh, you may have heard me share that we had a really tough week and my poor son had to go to the emergency room. It was the first time we had to do something like that since he was born. Thank God we’ve been so fortunate for his health.
Uh, but it was extremely stressful, to say the least. So it was, it was, it was just a very, very tough week. And that weekend we had, originally we had plans, my family and I, my husband and son and I to go to Chicago and visit my in-laws who live there. And we were gonna go for the weekend and we were gonna bring our son. Uh, we wanted him to be able to see some of my husband’s extended family.
And part of what we were going to do during that weekend was my husband and I were gonna stay downtown in Chicago together for a night. We were gonna get a hotel room. I was gonna go on a long run the next morning because I’m training for the marathon. And I thought it’d be so fun to do my weekly long run against the Chicago lakefront.
Uh, Chicago’s such a gorgeous city and it has beautiful fall weather. And then we were going to go to the Bronco Bear game. You probably know that I am a Colorado native, very, very proudly. As much as I love New York, I’m a Colorado girl through and through, and I’m a big Broncos fan. So I was very excited for this little 24 hour romantic getaway. My husband and I were going to get to do it thanks to the generosity of my in-laws.
And it was something we’d been looking forward to for a while because incredibly, around eight years ago when my husband and I first started dating, one of the first trips we wanted to take together, in fact the first one was we wanted to fly to Chicago for a Bears Broncos game. They only play each other every four years because they’re in different conferences.
So it’s rare when it happens. But what happened eight years ago, even though we had tickets, was unfortunately our flight, which was the morning of the game, was canceled straight up, canceled, not even delayed. And we never got to go. And so we had to watch it from a sad bar in New York City, and that was the year the Broncos won the Super Bowl. So they did win that game, and it would’ve been amazing to see it in person.
Nonetheless, I got over that as time passed and was looking forward to doing it this time. But as my son got sick the week before, uh, the weekend started getting closer and we were supposed to fly out on Friday and Thursday came and I just said, you know what? I’m not comfortable getting him on a plane the following day. Let’s change our flights to Saturday.
So we changed our flights to Saturday morning, and our plan was still on that. We’d get to my in-laws on Saturday, and then my husband and I would go downtown to Chicago Saturday night, have the night together, I’d run in the morning, and then we’d go to the game that the, on Sunday, well, as Friday kind of inched along, I started thinking, you know what, I’m just, I still don’t, I’m still not ready to get on a flight with him. I just think he needs a little bit more time to be at home and, and get some good sleep and to rest.
So I sent my husband early so he could go see his family. And I decided to stay an extra night by myself in the city with our son and fly out Sunday morning. So I booked us on a Sunday morning flight that would have us land in Chicago at 1130 in the morning with the game starting at noon.
So I knew we’d be a little bit late, but that was just the best I could ask for logistically. And that was just how it was going to be. And we had, we had pretty good seats. So at this point I had already sort of forfeited our night together in Chicago as well as my long run in Chicago. And you know, I was a bit bummed about that. If I’m being honest. Obviously my son’s health is the priority, which is why I didn’t question rescheduling it.
But after how trying and exhausting and sad the week had been, I mean, I could see he was on the upward mend. So I wasn’t concerned about his health anymore. I was just trying to give him time to heal. Um, but I was really looking forward to some alone time with him and a little bit of just fun after what had been, you know, a tough week.
Uh, so we kind of kiss goodbye to our hotel. We knew that that wasn’t gonna work out and I wasn’t gonna get to do my run, but I was still gonna be able to fly in, in time for just the Bronco game. So my husband and i’s 24 hour getaway turned into like a three or four hour getaway. So my son and I get to the gate on Sunday morning, and we are literally about to board.
And I booked us in the first row of first class seat one A so that we would’ve time to get off the flight and be the first one off so that I could get to this game as soon as possible. And so we’re about to board because we’re the first people to board in first class. And right as we’re about to literally walk on the plane, they make this announcement that there is a delay for, for technical reasons.
I think they had a flat tire or something. So, you know, nothing worse, right? Like it’s delays are the worst to begin with. They’re so frustrating, but they’re especially annoying when they don’t give you any advanced notice. You’re already at the airport and up until the moment that you were gonna leave, you still thought you were gonna leave. It’s much more digestible when the delay happens and is announced hours before, ideally before you have to leave for the airport so that you’re not there with your toddler by yourself, trying to handle this airport delay. It’s delayed half an hour.
Okay? I can handle that. The flight to Chicago’s usually quite quick. They can make up some time in the air. I have no nothing but to make the best of this, the flight gets delayed and delayed. It’s continuing to be pushed back every 30 minutes. I am next to the gate in my Bronco jersey by myself chasing around this toddler who is feeling better, but is rambunctious. And there’s really nothing I can do. And I kind of hit rock bottom at a point. I’m gonna be honest. I’m texting my husband and I’m just feeling like this is so we’re gonna miss this game now. I’m 90 minutes delayed and there’s no end in sight.
We’re just continuing to be explicitly delayed. And this sucks. And this sucks because this is the second time this happened. And this sucks because I really wanted this relief and a little bit of just fun together after we’ve had a tough week caring for, you know, thank God he was better at that point, son. Um, and this, this sucks. That was just the only way to put it. Of course, people have real problems in life and missing some of an N f L game is not one of them. But I was allowed to feel like this just kind of sucks.
So I hit that moment, I’m bummed, I’m texting Adam and I’m just like, I don’t, I I might not even come at this point, right? Like where I’m not even gonna be in Chicago for 24 hours at this point.
We were gonna fly home the next day and I was like, is this really worth hauling my, our toddler over to Chicago, handing him off to your parents just to miss a game at this point and turn back around and come the next day? And I’m bummed, okay. I’m just, that’s just what I want to paint the picture of. I like, as much as I wanna be a positive thinker and say, visualization is key, just keep remembering that things work out, uh, the way they’re supposed to. You have power over your own destiny. None of that is really clicking with me. Like, I’m just bummed, I’m bummed. I feel like we’re gonna miss it. It’s a bummer.
So finally, and eventually we get on the plane, then we end up taxing forever. And I’ve just accepted in my mind there’s, well, one, I’m probably gonna miss the game.
Two, there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m in this flight and no matter what, at least my son’s gonna be able to see his extended family and this is what it is. I have to just make the best of it at this point. So we’re flying and I’m hoping that we make enough time that I could make it to even the last quarter of the game at this point.
And we land and we’re taxing and I’m bummed. And I can see that the Broncos are not only already in the third quarter by the time we land, but losing pretty handsomely. This score is 7 28. Okay? We’re losing by three touchdowns. So at this point I’m sort of like, Ugh, this sucks. Whatever happens, happens, even if we make it, we’re gonna lose. So I just kind of need to put my hands up with this one.
And as we pull up to the gate, I kind of have a little pep talk with myself where I’m like, Leah, you need to practice what you preach. We are as a society way too quick to give away our power and our control over our own lives. On the one hand, yes, there are things out of our control. On the other hand, there are things in our control that we often write off because they feel out of our control. Like our attitude, like our perspectives, like our mindsets.
And I’m thinking whatever’s about to happen is gonna be awesome. If I miss this game, that sucks. But I’ll still have time downtown with my husband and maybe it’ll be better than we could have expected. Or maybe I’ll make the end of this game and it’ll still be really fun. It’s a beautiful day and my son will still get to go be with his, my in-laws, you know, his grandparents, who I knew they wanted to spend time with.
So I just shift my mindset right then and there. I just decided that whatever’s about to happen is the best I could ask for. And I just started getting excited about it. We get off the plane, we go and we find my in-laws. We just pass off our son essentially, and my husband and I get in a cab and we’re kinda looking at each other and we look at our phone and it’s already the fourth quarter, okay? O’Hare, that airport in Chicago is not exactly close to the city.
It’s still probably a good hour drive. And they’re, and we’re already in the last quarter and we’re like, let, we tell the cab driver, we’re like, let’s go to Soldier Field. And on the way we’ll decide if we wanna go somewhere else. So we’re in the car. And as excited as I’m trying to be, I’m not gonna lie, I kind of hit another rock bottom.
I kind of hit this other moment where I’m just like, Ugh, this blows, this is the second time I’ve missed this game. And we’re looking, we’re refreshing the game and it’s just the minutes are going by, it’s not there. No timeouts are being called. The game is not slowing down. And by the time we get downtown to Chicago, there’s 10 minutes left in this game. The Broncos have gotten it to, um, let’s see, I think it’s 20 14 7 by seven or uh, 1421 at this point or something like that. But the game’s about to end.
We get to Soldier Field anyway ’cause we don’t have anywhere else to go. Even though we were heavily considering just going to another bar or a restaurant and just hanging out downtown. But just before we had time to change our mind, we were there and these security guards were saying that in the fourth quarter, we’re not allowed to go in and I threw a fit.
I’m like, you guys, we paid for these tickets. I don’t care if it’s the fourth quarter, I’m going in, uh, I paid for these tickets. You can’t tell me that I can’t have the c I paid for. They have to get management whatever. We get in. And then as we get in, right as I walk into the actual stadium, the Broncos tie up the game. I see it on TV, I’m getting some food and I’m like, okay, you know what? We made it.
Worst case scenario, we’re gonna watch the end of this game and then we’ll just go walk downtown and have dinner or something like that before we go back to hi, uh, my, my in-law’s house. But then they tie it up, all right, now I’m feeling a little obnoxious. Okay? I am in the opposite team’s home field in my jersey, and I’m just grateful to be there.
At this point, I’m kind of riding the initial high that you get when you get to a sporting event. And everyone else is kind of like straggling because they’ve been sitting in the hot sun for four hours and they’re exhausted and probably hung over. But I’m just getting there and I’m like, I’m gonna have fun with this. And I start looking at every Bronco fan I can find. There was more of them than I thought there’d be.
And I just keep saying, we’re gonna win this game. We’re gonna win this game. I’m so glad I’m here because we’re gonna win this game. We’ve tied it up and without going through the play by play, wouldn’t you know it? We watched the Bears get the ball back after the Tide game, after the tide point, get down to their end zone attempt, a field goal, I’m sorry, they should have attempted a field goal, attempt a touchdown.
We block them, we get the ball back, we march it to the other end of the field, we attempt a field goal, we make it, okay, now we’re winning the bears, get the ball back, they try to march it down the field to tie us up with a field goal. We intercept it and we freaking win.
So after all that , after the ER visit, after two postpone flights, after solo parenting with a sick child for a little while and getting on a flight with him by myself after the indefinite delays, after every single thing about this should not have worked out. I arrive for 15 minutes of a game that I then watch Win . It was insane. It was insane, but it was a beautiful representation of how much more things are working out in our favor than we can imagine. Would the Broncos have won if I didn’t go?
Who knows? Of course. I mean, probably right? Would they have won every time in that situation? I don’t know. I don’t know. This isn’t about magic. This is about power. This is about recognizing where we think we don’t have control over things, and we do. And this actually, I wanted to kind of take, go through my takeaways of how I think this is representative of surrender as a whole in a minute.
So now I wanna tell another story about it. But , my friend Liv says, they probably would’ve lost without you. Yeah. You know, I like to think so too. I like to think that my pep brought in this good luck charm. But the important part of this story, this is a fun story, right? It’s not meant to be like any magic or whatever. It’s, it’s, it was just amazing how it happened.
But things like this happen more frequently than we think they do if we let them, meaning if we won, take more power of our emotions and two, stay in the freaking game. This is the biggest thing with business. If you wanna parallel the story I just told to your business, the biggest fluke, the biggest way you can ensure you won’t have your miracle sale or your miracle high income month or your miracle client sign on, is if when it looks like it appears that it’s not gonna happen, you pull out when it looks like there’s no hope.
When it looks like what’s the point when it looks like, I don’t think this is gonna happen, you bail. That’s the only way to ensure that it won’t come true. If I, if we would have just said, you know what? It doesn’t look like we’re gonna make it so we’re not gonna go, we would’ve missed it. We would’ve missed it. And I would’ve been in a bar in Chicago watching this happening on a tv, bawling my eyes out . But for whatever reason, I like to think because we decided to stay optimistic, we decided to sit, to sit in it, to keep going and look at whether we delivered ourselves. The other story I wanna tell about surrender that I think is similar to this is a little bit into my journey Becoming a mother and finding out that I was pregnant.
So I really encourage you to go listen to Clarissa’s podcast. Her podcast is called Fertility Friends, and she has a lot of detail about how she manifested her pregnancy, and it’s really incredible. Um, but I’ll just give a little bit of a snapshot into mind. And the reason I wanna share this, actually, it’s very top of mind because as you might know, we just recently moved and I was looking through my journals when we were moving and I discovered this all, and I actually had forgotten about a lot of it. I didn’t really even think about it after I found out I was pregnant. But I got pregnant in March of 2021, and I had given up alcohol in January.
So about two, three months before I found out I was pregnant, I had not drank at all.
And I had not, we had not really liked being that intentional about getting pregnant at that time. In fact, we had thought that we were probably going to, uh, get pregnant. Um, when we returned back to New York, I was still living in Miami at the time, but I looked back into my journal and in February, so about a month before I found out I was pregnant, honestly, just a few weeks before I got pregnant, I wrote this entry about how I was ready to receive motherhood in a way that I hadn’t realized, or that I don’t think I had admitted to myself.
Basically, I was just acknowledging that I was more excited and perhaps even closer to being ready to be a mom than I thought because I just hadn’t, we hadn’t really been talking about it that much. It just wasn’t really on my radar at the time.
But something in me thought, I’m ready to receive this. I’m ready to, I think I would be ready to handle this if, if I could. And so I kind of went about my life, you know, I didn’t really think too much about it. Even in my journals, it’s not like every day I’m like, I hope I get pregnant. I hope I get pregnant. Not saying that you can’t feel that way, obviously, I, I think a lot of women do. I think I probably will at some point, but that’s just, that wasn’t my experience.
My experience was, I sort of put it out into the universe that I was ready to receive it and I continued taking care of myself. And I was at peak self-care during that time because I was enjoying sobriety so much. So I was doing a ton of outdoor activities.
I was working out more than ever. I was just really in my feminine energy. In fact, I remember in early March of that, uh, of that time, we, my husband and I went to Key West, and I remember vividly looking at myself in a swimsuit, uh, before we went down to the pool one day.
And I just remember feeling like, I remember looking in the mirror and, and thinking, I’ve never felt happier with how I look than I do right now. And I don’t think it was because I looked particularly different. I think it was just a moment of realizing that I was appreciating myself and my body and everything it had done and how much I had given it health-wise, uh, recently at that time, more than ever. So I was in a really good spiritual place and really fostering my feminine energy. And I put out into the universe that I want to, I, I would be ready for motherhood if the time was right. Then. Then
A few weeks later, near the end of March, I found the final journal prompt, or not journal prompt, but journal entry before, uh, the day before I found out I was pregnant. And in this journal entry, I kind of freaked out. So for context, my best friend Tanya was engaged at the time, and she lives in Ireland. So I knew that I would be going to Ireland for her, um, her, her, her, her wedding, but then also her engagement party.
And I also, Adam and I wanted to go to Croatia that year. That was something that was like a bucket list thing for us. I was realizing I wanted to go back to Paris, and I kind of just had this moment where I was like, oh my gosh, I take it back. I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I can handle it.
I don’t know if it’s the right time. I have so many other things I wanna do. And I wrote that in my journal. I wrote this kind of freak out where I just thought, I thought I was ready for motherhood, but I don’t know if I am. I don’t know if we’re ready. I don’t know if I’m ready to change my lifestyle this much, et cetera.
And the next day I found out I was pregnant. And this really moved me because I didn’t read this and think, oh, you know, you weren’t ready to be pregnant or whatever. That’s, that wasn’t at all the reality, and that’s not where the intention was coming from. What was happening was that I was hitting an upper limit. I was hitting in a moment of being afraid that I couldn’t experience everything I wanted at the same time, or believing that I was worthy of it.
In a sense, I was in a scarcity mindset in that journal entry. I was feeling like if I have one thing that I want, I therefore can’t have the other. If I become a mom, if I get pregnant, if I have a baby, I therefore can’t travel the way I want. That’s what that was about. It was a pure upper limit. And our upper limits, our most scarce moments tend to happen when we’re in pursuit of something or on the way to something and we’re about to have it, and we get afraid.
What if I can’t handle it? What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m not ready? What if this just isn’t the way I want it to be? Look at your business. Are there moments where you’re chasing something and then you are in momentum toward it and you think, oh my gosh, I’m just too busy right now.
Or, oh my gosh, I’m just not ready to charge that amount because what if I can’t deliver that much? Or I’m just too, uh, my plate is too full and I can’t handle this. Or I, I I had all these consistent sales months and now I’m having a bad one. What if I’m just not good at this? Right? Something like that. And what these tend to be indicators of is you expanding into something that you’ve never been able to have before.
And this is often something people think is a cue to take yourself out of the game to then say, you know what? I’m not ready to be a mom. I’m gonna stop trying, or I’m not ready to be an entrepreneur at that level. I’m gonna, I’m gonna go figure things out. I’m gonna go find more clarity. That’s one thing I hear a lot.
I’m not ready to do this webinar, so I’m going to wait and think about what I wanna do until it’s more clear, or I’m not ready to sell this thing because I need it to be more clear or whatever. No matter what, it’s your brain playing mental gymnastics of how can I stay where I am because I’m too afraid to experience what I really want, or I’m afraid that I can’t have it. And the next day I took this pregnancy test and it was one of the best days of my life.
And in my journal, I’m overwhelmed with emotion and can’t believe that this is happening. And while pregnant, I still went to my friend’s engagement party in Ireland, and I still went to Paris with my husband to celebrate my business having its first seven figure sales year. And we still went to Croatia on our babymoon, and we truly experienced it all, so to speak.
That doesn’t mean my life is perfect. I don’t like saying I have it all. It doesn’t mean my pregnancy was perfect. It doesn’t mean I didn’t go through fears of becoming a mom. I think everyone does, but it does to me. I look at those journal entries and I just think it’s so beautiful watching myself go through the process of getting clear on a desire, sharing that I want it, allowing myself to be in a situation where I could receive it, getting momentum toward it, freaking out that I might not have it, and ultimately pushing through to experience it.
And in a weird parallel way, that’s what happened with the Bronco game. I wanted to go to the Bronco game. I did everything I could to make it happen. I started freaking out that I might not be able to get there, that this might not work out.
How, what if I’m not, what if this isn’t meant for us? What, what else can we do instead? But continuing to sit in it, in the journey and experiencing it even better than I could have imagined. That was the parallel with both of them.
So I wanna just pick out a few, you know, themes here and, and, and I think you probably heard them, but the first thing that I think is important to take from both my stories and I, and I’m proud to tell both these stories because I think in the mindset world and in the personal development world, we sometimes vilify negative emotions or we’re afraid of them because we think that they’re going to set a current away from what it is that we truly desire. And in both my scenarios, both with the Bronco game and with pregnancy, it’s just comical because one’s so not serious and one is so serious.
But in both of them, I had human emotions of being afraid, doubtful, um, almost convinced that this wasn’t going to happen. And that’s okay. It was not enough to propel me away from the experience we have to be okay with and comfortable with and almost loving of our human, human emotions because they don’t necessarily turn the current against you. It’s what you do with those emotions, the actions you take that can turn the current against you.
And if you are vilifying your human emotions, if you’re saying, who am I to be afraid of getting what I want? Or who am I to be, um, fearful of this not working out? Or who am I to be doubtful of things? Like if I have one single doubt about my ability, then am I gonna be in debt for forever? Or am I never going to get the clients that I want or the sales that I want, or the income that I want?
You’re allowed to have those fears and those emotions. But if you let them stop you from moving forward, if you let them pause you, if you let them say, I’m gonna take myself outta the game, then you don’t get pregnant because you stop trying or then you don’t make it to the Bronco game because you turn around or go to a different bar in Chicago or then you never have your sales month because you never even freaking sold something, right?
So the human emotions, the negative human emotions are not a negative thing. They are a human thing. Let yourself have them stop with this pressure. If I’m doubtful for even a second, then I’m doing it wrong. Or then I don’t believe in myself enough or then I don’t have what it takes. It’s. They actually are more indicating that you are trying something new and big and scary, which is exciting.
With that, a second take away I want to share is to recognize when you are experiencing an upper limit. And a clear indicator of that would be if something in your mind is saying, abort this mission, I’m not gonna keep trying anymore. I’m not going to even see through with this. I’m not even going to bother to see how this turns out because it’s probably not going to, or I’m afraid of what could happen if it doesn’t or I’m afraid of what could happen.
When it does, you have to keep going. The worst mistake I see entrepreneurs make is a little bit of progress rather than taking my foot off the gas because I’m too afraid of what the next level looks like. Or I’m too afraid to spend more money, or I’m too afraid to commit more time, or I need to get things in order.
And I’m saying that in quotes first beforehand, keep going. You can experience the emotion, the emotions without getting reactive to them and taking action because of them. And then the final takeaway I wanna share, this is kind of funny, but I think it’s important, is to embrace a life of chaos. In a sense, I think that social media has made chaos feel wrong and responsible and maybe even, you know, like an indicator that you don’t have it together as much.
But a life of fulfillment is a life of chaos. The only people that are doing these crazy things and experiencing a lot of things at once have a hell of a lot going on. And it’s okay if things don’t seem organized, and it’s okay if you have off weeks or off days or off whatever. And it’s okay if you feel like your to-do list is a mile long.
One of my favorite quotes is that pressure is a privilege. And I think a lot of times we feel like, you know, we need to get rid of the pressure. We can’t take the pressure, the stress is too much. If you want big things in the world, welcome to the pressure. Welcome the pressure invited in, learn how to handle it, stop making it wrong. The pressure of high bills, the pressure of clients, the pressure of, uh, the, the complications that come with travel. Whatever it is, it’s part of what you’re asking for.
So stop feeling like you can’t handle it and start recognizing that it is part of the path you’re on. The only way you’re not gonna have any financial pressure. You know, if once you start making a lot of money, the financial pressure of how am I gonna pay my bills, that can absolutely go away and that’s great.
But the over or just kind of the intensity of having payroll on your hands, having other expenses that you then choose to have like a mortgage or your children’s childcare or, uh, yeah, like a team or even your own saving schools, those can feel really big at times. So it’s a privilege that you have them, but the pressure’s still there.
So choose your pressure. Do you want the pressure of, I’m not gonna spend a lot of money because I’m scared and I’m hoping that that alleviates the pressure of financial stress? Or do you want the pressure of, I’m making a lot of money and I have a team I have to pay for and I have childcare I have to pay for and I have whatever bills I have to pay for, but I’m making a lot of money doing it? Choose your hard, right?
It’s all hard. And the pressure of a lot of responsibility is a good thing. It means that you’re taking on responsibility. It means that you’re doing a lot. Embrace it, welcome it, invite it. Both of those situations were extremely chaotic. One was only for a day. The other was for nine months. The other is still chaotic. Being a parent is chaotic, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I’ve really had to learn that pressure is a privilege because as I’ve built my business, the pressure has grown immensely through the team, through becoming a mom, through, you know, sometimes we have 30, 40 clients at a time.
It’s a lot of space to hold and it’s what I’ve asked for and I’m so grateful for it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I hope that this episode brought you some perspective on maybe some surrender in your own life where maybe you’ve been doing it and you haven’t even realized it, or maybe places that you have the opportunity to, but you haven’t realized it. Let me know what you loved about this.
You can message me @leahgervais_ on Instagram, and I hope it gives you some insights into taking big action as you approach the new year and betting on yourself and letting yourself have human emotions as you go through this, but not reacting to them. Stay in the game. Don’t take yourself out. Get what you want. All right, everyone, I hope you have a great rest of your day. I’ll talk to you soon.
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