Show Notes:

Olivia Talley’s Website: https://thesealeddeal.com/

Instagram: @livtalley_dating_coach

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livtalleydatingcoach

Leah Gervais: Hey visionaries. Welcome back to the Your Biggest vision show. Today’s guest is Liv Talley, who is a special client friend and just person to me overall. I’ve actually known her a very long time, and it has been a real joy in my business to watch her flourish over the past year. It’s been very inspiring. And so we’re really lucky to have her today to share her story and to share her tips on dating. So thanks for being here live, of course.

Olivia Talley: Thank you so much for having me. Um, obviously you’ve been a long time listener to your show and I’m excited to be on it actually.

Leah Gervais: The feeling is very mutual. So I would love it if you could start with a sentence or two around what it is that you do now, and then we’re going to go ahead and backtrack a little. Yeah,

Olivia Talley: Of course. So I am a dating coach. I work with singles or even people in relationships around building their confidence and their self-trust because I feel that’s, what’s lacking the most in making good dating decisions is just your ability to say yes to yourself. And what’s good for you and what you need.

Leah Gervais: Beautiful. I love it. You’re like the love coach.

Olivia Talley: Exactly.

Leah Gervais: Okay, amazing. And you are in my mastermind just for full transparency for anyone listening. So I have seen your business really flourished lately, so I can’t wait to hear more. So why don’t you take us back a little bit to whatever you feel like is the starting point for when dating became such a notable thing in your life that there is now the seed for it to be your career? 

Olivia Talley:  Of course. So I think I have to go all the way back, because I grew up in a very religious household that, um, obviously in rural Colorado, Leah and I, for anyone listening went to high school together. I just grew up very much with this mentality of, um, focus on the family and focus on marriage and, um, you know, anyone listening that is the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Um, and so there’s this really heavy emphasis on family. 

So actually when I graduated high school, I kind of just imagined I would follow in my mom’s footsteps, um, get married young, have 10 kids, literally, and when I graduated, it was kind of an interesting point in time because this is actually when Instagram became a thing, um, tinder became a thing. And just the way that we were socializing with each other and dating was changing, it was going through this really major, really quick transition.

And I feel like I was right there, like at the turn of it, and that did not coincide with my very traditional upbringing. So this whole business actually started as a blog that I was writing to try to like, understand what was going on. There was, you know, a big shift in women in the workforce. And I actually was told by a guy, um, that I was dating when I was, I think, 19, he was like, Oh, if you don’t go to school and get a career, then no one’s going to want to marry you. I’m just kind of shocked by that because I was like, first of all, who says that? And second of all, it was the first time that it really clicked that like, things just were really changing. So I wanted to not only understand, but I wanted to keep up with that.

Leah Gervais: Right, right. Okay. I see. So I kind of have a linear question. When you look back at, um, your upbringing now, looking back, knowing what you’ve known and creating the business that you have, are, were there any hints of you owning your own business? 

Olivia Talley: No. 

Leah Gervais: You were supposed to be mommy dearest. 

Olivia Talley:  Absolutely! You know, that’s just the way I was raised. And, um, that’s what I saw in my own family. And so I never even thought I would work. I never really intended to go to school. Um, and I was really focused on being a mom and having a family and I have nothing against that. Um, obviously I really admire my own mother and those who do that. Um, but it, ultimately that comment that that guy made was kind of this first, like click for me that maybe my path isn’t going to look like everybody else’s, um, and actually starting that blog, um, is how I entered the business world too.

Olivia Talley: I kept getting hired by all these startups in Utah Valley, because they’re like, Oh, we need a content writer, we need a marketer, we need all of this that you show in your blog. And so I just kept getting hired for, um, you know, that was my first office job was doing marketing and content writing. I shifted into trying to create my own marketing business. Um, and then from there I, like, I entered the corporate world and started working in politics and, um, and using that background in marketing that I’ve been building, um, to work with this big political firm.

Leah Gervais: Wow. So I have kind of, you, you have an interesting situation that is so unique to you, but I don’t think is actually that unique, uh, you know, when we apply it to other people, so you, in a sense had to, and it sounds like you wanted to, but you had to strip away some of, in a sense, your identity, you know, you kind of had to let go of what you thought was a universal truth for a long time, that you were going to get married young. You were going to have kids young that you weren’t really going to be working on, let alone a business woman. And it sounds like it kind of came to you sometimes very harshly, like from this ex boyfriend where he kind of metaphorically slapped you across the face. 

But what’s amazing is, you know, I think so many entrepreneurs in a different way can kind of relate to what you went through because you have to, you have to let go of who you were to become the next version of yourself. And it’s very exciting, but it can be very painful. So is there any insight you have about what that was like for you? Was it a slow period of slowly accepting something different or did you kind of go head first or was it painful? Do you know what I mean?

Olivia Talley: Yeah, I do. Um, and honestly I think it was pretty painful. I felt at conflict all the time, um, with this idea that I was supposed to want to get married. I was raised to have a family and do all of that and I did want that. But I didn’t want it in the way that everyone else wanted me to have it. And I didn’t leave a lot of room to accept that for myself. Um, and so it was, it was hard to just give myself permission to go against the grain and, you know, accept that part of my personality that’s really inclined to ruffle feathers and, you know, do things a little bit different and challenge people, um, because I wanted to want something else, but I just didn’t.

Leah Gervais: Wow. So do you think that if you wa if your life would have gone the way you had very originally planned and you would have several kids at this point and would have been married for a while and wouldn’t have your business, do you think somewhere along the line, something about you would have felt like suppressed or like you were missing something? Because I really, I mean, I really see how much of your zone of genius this is. I can’t imagine you not doing this.

Olivia Talley: Absolutely. And honestly, I’ve thought about that question so much, and I think you’re absolutely right. I think that I would have regretted getting married young and having kids young. And that’s not anything derogatory about my church, my upbringing, it’s just, for me personally, I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All I knew is that I wanted to experience life and I, if I didn’t do that and I didn’t live this life that I’ve been living all these years then, like I wouldn’t have met the man that I’m married to now, who is so perfect for me in ways that I didn’t even know that I needed a partner to be for me, you know?

Olivia Talley: And, um, just being married to him now, um, it’s kind of like this, okay, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want someone who wants me to go for my dreams and to be a little unconventional. And that really makes me feel alive. It really makes me feel happy. I get energy from being an entrepreneur and helping people in the dating realm. And if I had gotten married young, then, you know, looking back on all of the guys I dated before nothing against them, but they were not inclined to entrepreneurship like that just wasn’t the guy I dated for a long time.

Leah Gervais: Wow. So you, I mean, you clearly believe that this happened the way it was supposed to in the end, it sounds like.

Olivia Talley: Yeah, absolutely. It was very much like, like I am constantly praying and just thanking God that I went through the journey that I did and that I feel like he’s so much a part of my business and that he is using me to reach people and connect with people over this shift that I had, because I see time and time again, um, people that get married young and they do fall into that kind of regret and losing sight of who they are. And they ended up getting divorced and it’s really sad. You know, not that necessarily all divorces are sad, but, but these people will tell me, like, I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted. I got married too young and I want to help people just to see that their journey is theirs and it doesn’t have to look any certain way except what they want it to.

Leah Gervais: That gives me chills. Do you and how, okay. Let’s shift now to how you went through all of this in your own life, and you almost had to rearrange your identity, think differently about this. I’m sure there were interesting dynamics in your family. It is hard to question family dynamics. I know that I know that from starting my own business too, and I’ve seen it a lot. Um, but not only do you do it and find success in your own life, you then build a business out of it. So what did that decision look like? How did you decide I’ve gone through this and I’m going to help others?

Olivia Talley: So, um, it was kind of a heavy coming to, as I was working in the political realm and it’s pretty vicious. Um, and I was actually let go from that job, um, because I had fought for another girl in the company who, you know, had said that she was raped and I fought for her and I lost my job because of it. At the same time I was dating someone who assaulted me and these things all kind of happened at the same time. And it was such a shock that ultimately, like, I didn’t even understand what had happened. When I did like a couple of months later, um, I just felt like I didn’t even want to be the person that I was anymore. Um, and I wanted to, um, sorry.

Leah Gervais: It’s okay. You can be emotional. I’m really like witnessing that you’re sharing this, so thank you.

Olivia Talley: But I, I didn’t want to be the person that I was anymore. Um, and I, I, uh, was trying to let go of so much. Um, but I kind of realized that, um, I needed someone to fight for me. Um, and that if, if that’s my natural inclination is to fight for people at the risk of losing it all, um, then that, like I had to figure out a way to do that, um, in a way that I couldn’t get fired. So that really led me to it’s time to start my own business. It’s time to be my own boss. I don’t want anyone else calling the shots for me, which ultimately is when I reached out to you. Um, and that’s when I decided to go through your Scale Your Side Hustle business, because like I had this blog that brought me a lot of good things in my life.

I felt inclined to, you know, kind of stick to dating, um, cause it was still something I was learning and figuring out. And you ultimately really inspired me when you, uh, showed me that blogging was, you know, kind of a good start. But that there’s so much more outside of that. And you inspired me to get into coaching and honestly, like going through your program, it kind of reinstated a lot of about who I was that I did like, and I wanted to keep in it like really helps me build a lot of my confidence back and learn how to channel those parts of myself, that I was trying to abandon into something good and something constructive for other people.

Leah Gervais: Wow. Thank you so much for sharing all of that. I’m so sorry you went through that. I don’t usually feel so heavy because I know everyone has their own, their own things, but I think that the fact that you already had to work through everything about what you thought you wanted to not be, then what you look like. You know, it’s, it’s one thing for us right now, sitting on this, talking to each other, your businesses, thriving. You’re, you know, you’re doing amazingly, you’re married a wonderful man and we can look back and be like, Oh, thank God you didn’t get married young, but I can only imagine in the beginning how painful it was, especially when that’s what your parents wanted. I mean, I didn’t go through something quite as, um, I guess like value sensitive to my parents. But I even, I do remember, uh, when I started my business and I went into debt, which I’m pretty open about as you know, um, and I felt like, I felt like my dad would have been very disappointed in me.

I felt like he was disappointed in me because he was so anti debt. Then he passed away and I remember feeling like, Oh my gosh, he’s, you know, not proud of me or whatever. It’s very, very hard to go against what you think your parents want for you, even when you’re an adult, if you really love your parents, especially if you love them. So I have a lot of, you know, um, just respect for everything you went through. And then on top of that, feeling more rejection, you know, from your, from your boss and from a boyfriend, it’s very, very painful. And it’s probably why you’re so amazing at what you do now, because you’ve kind of experienced it all in the sense of like, you know, how to navigate the church and not getting married young or how to navigate your parents and then how to navigate. You’re dating someone, but they suck and they do awful things. And I’m so grateful. We’re here on the other side, uh, sitting and talking about it now. Um, and I think you’re really gonna inspire a lot of people. So thank you for sharing. And um, I just think it’s really great for that, that you just shared all of that.

Olivia Talley: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me on and letting me talk about it actually never shared a lot of this.

Leah Gervais: We’re not done. I have more questions for you, but yeah, I think it’s, it’s a great, it’s a great story. You know, I know you, I think, you know, how important you think it is to share your story. So, okay. So you go through Scale Your Side hustle, you start seeing beyond blogging, you start seeing that you can actually make this into a career. Did you then, well, did you have to fight through new fears when you started, or, you know, in that first year, do you feel like anything from what you had gone through up to that point was helping you? I mean, I feel like you’re pretty good at mindset stuff, but I’d love to hear from your perspective, what new stuff came up versus what did you feel like you kind of had already experienced and helped you in entrepreneurship?

Olivia Talley: I think ultimately the biggest thing that kept coming up again and again, was imposter syndrome. And I know that most entrepreneurs do struggle with that. Um, but it was kind of this really overwhelming, like I’m single and I’m going to tell you how not to be single. And, honestly, it was something I was pretty protective of when people would challenge me on that and they did again and again, I’m like, you know, what did your doctor have to break their arm to tell you how to fix your arm? Because you know, you don’t always set those hard precedents for everyone just when you don’t believe the person, you know, that’s talking to you in the moment. So that was something I really just like bulldozed through that. And I’m like, I’m like, you know, what, if you don’t want to take my advice, don’t take my advice.That’s fine. 

But, um, I also knew that I have been the friend through most of my life that people come to with their dating problems. And it is because of that kind of blunt honesty that I’ve always had that is kind of friction-y. But I think people really look to that when they have a problem, they don’t necessarily want to be coddled. They want to know what’s the truth. Um, so that’s something that I just came back to again and again, which, um, interestingly enough, I, uh, had tried to really tone down and even like to edge that part of myself out because I’m like, I’m too friction-y like, people don’t want that. It’s, you know, they don’t want to be challenged all the time and, you know, whatever. Um, and it really turned into, okay, it’s not necessarily, I have to abandon that. It’s just, I have to learn how to channel it better. As I kind of was learning all of this about building my business and like, like overcoming people’s rejections, then it really translated into the way that I dated. And, you know, if a guy was like, hey, not interested. I’m like, cool. You don’t have to be on or find someone else.

And it all just was really intertwined. And I am pretty open about the fact that I feel like I found love through business coaching. You know, it’s like, there’s so much in just building your confidence and shifting your mindset to believe in the good things that can happen for you and having someone in your corner to tell you like it is sometimes it just makes such a difference.

Leah Gervais: I totally agree. I mean, I didn’t, I didn’t go through like meeting my husband before I started my business, but I have overwhelmingly found that I’ve been able to do other parts of life easier than I would think because I built my business. I really do think that. And because I’ve had to go through such intensive mindset work, like people can’t even imagine the mindset work you have to do as an entrepreneur, you know? And so other things, you know, you’re just kind of ready for it. Like, uh, this is just a quick example just to kind of support your point. But as you know, I recently gave up alcohol and I would have thought that this would have been pretty hard. 

Leah Gervais: I mean, I’ve been a frequent drinker for like, since I could, and it’s just something I did regularly, socially, and it’s been such a breeze. And I really think, and I say that humbly, just for everyone listening, maybe it will be harder at some point in my life. I’m taking things just as they come. But so far it’s been a breeze and I really keep telling people, I think it’s because I’ve done so much mindset work that once I decided to do this, I was like, oh, okay. I know how to do this. Cut off all other solutions, give myself like a whole mental toolbox. I’m so ready to go. And so it’s really incredible. I can completely see how they complimented each other or your business complimented your dating.

Olivia Talley: Yeah, absolutely. And it’s definitely something when I’m talking to people and, and I’m coaching clients, then I definitely am using business strategies. And I’m like, I’m like, okay, you know, are you selling yourself like this? And you know what, I obviously will translate the terms, but I’m doing it. And I’m like, Oh yeah, this is how you do business too, by the way.

Leah Gervais: So, okay. Why don’t you brag about yourself a little at this point. So you joined scale your side hustle to almost not even two years ago, right?

Olivia Talley: Yeah. I think it was March of 2019.

Leah Gervais: Okay. So in that two years, do you want to give us a little synopsis of what happened in your business and where you are now?

Olivia Talley: Yeah, definitely. So, um, in those two years, um, I went from, by the way, when I paid for scale, your side hustle, um, I was unemployed. I had run out of unemployment benefits, um, and I was living on my credit card. So also big no-no in my background. You know, my dad is very anti-debt as well. Um, but I was like, I just don’t know what else to do. And then, um, I put that whole investment onto my credit card and I think it was the first time in my life that I felt good. Having spent a significant amount of money on me, like something that I wanted. And since then, um, I got a new job, um, that May I got a new job offer. And it was a salary position and I worked for a non-profit while I was doing my dating business on the side.

Olivia Talley: I started running coaching programs. Um, one-on-one I started getting into group programs, um, and ever since, um, so I got the job offer in, um, sorry, this is a year later. So, um, so I started working. No, I’m so sorry. Yeah. So it was that it was that August I was supposed to start in 2019. Um, and I worked for this nonprofit for a year and in that time, um, I matched my salary and so it just was going really well. And I was like, this is so much fun. And like, God bless this nonprofit. They were really good to me. And you know, I hold nothing against them at all, but I was like, I don’t have to have a boss anymore. Like I’m appreciative of the income that I could get out of debt again. But like, I’m good now I’m going to do this.

So I left that nonprofit on my year, mark. Um, and I’ve been running this full-time ever since, and it’s just been so fun. It’s like such a blessing that I get to live exactly the way that I want to live. I am not beholden to anyone telling me what to do, except sometimes my husband. Sometimes me, but it’s like, I get to choose who gets to tell me what to do. And you know, it’s just so much fun to feel like I went through such a journey, but it’s brought me here and I feel like I’m really thriving. I feel like I’m seeing this incredible shift in the people that I work with and that gives me purpose. And so it’s just like all around. I dunno, could not be better.

Leah Gervais: Two years. You went from unemployed, investing in your business on a credit card, no clear direction without a monetize. It ended up taking another nine to five, met your husband, got married, quit your nine to five after you had matched your salary. Now you have group programs, you have self study programs. I mean, for one-on-one, it’s up to you. If you want to share your price or not, but you, you are a premium dating coach. I mean, you’re probably one of the most premium early dating coaches within your community. And I want to talk about that because I know you serve beyond your community as well, but you did that in two years. 

Olivia Talley: Yep. Yep. 

Leah Gervais: How does it feel to you?

Olivia Talley: So great. It’s crazy to think like how different things were two years ago, but I am really thankful to be where I am now and to have this business and I just am feeling good.

Leah Gervais: You should. And you should. So yeah. I mean, your story is just incredible. So before we wrap up, I just would love to hear a little more about, well, I have two questions for you. The first let’s stick with your entrepreneurship. So somebody feels like they were dealt the wrong freaking hand, you know, maybe in a similar way you had felt about dating at some point, maybe you’ve inspired them to consider making a business out of it. Um, do you have maybe like a first step that you would give them or just a piece of advice.

Olivia Talley: Hire a coach. I tried to do the whole self-taught, you know, I got the books, I was pinning all of the posts and my phone was full of, you can do it and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And, um, I just needed a mentor and I’m so thankful to have found one in you and anyone else. It’s a huge difference. Not only in, um, like the results that you see, but in the person that you become, when you decide I am ambitious enough to go on this journey and I am humble enough to let someone teach me how.

Leah Gervais: Hmm, what beautiful advice. I mean, we obviously couldn’t agree more. I love, I love that. You said it’s not just about like the return on your investment. It’s also like who you get to step up to be when you do it. I think that that’s great advice. Um, okay. And then the other thing I want to make sure you touch on is who you do help, because I know that you come though, you come from, um, the LDS background. That’s not exclusively who you work with, right? 

Olivia Talley: Correct. 

Leah Gervais: Okay. So do you want to tell us a little bit about who might be, who you could help if someone out there is single and needing a little bit of guidance?

Olivia Talley: Yeah, definitely. So I work with anyone even single or in a relationship who wants to get better in touch with their own needs and make long lasting deep connections. Um, typically what I see when people lack confidence is they are unable to really connect with people as deep as they want to. And, um, and the reason that I say I work with people single and in relationships is because that’s oftentimes, um, relationships are not all that they could be. 

And I’ve been in those relationships that they’re fun. And maybe there are great things about it, but it’s like, something’s really missing. And I don’t want anyone that I work with to feel like something’s missing for them. So that’s what I get really, really clear with my clients on, is what do you need to feel loved to feel like you’re living your fullest life and to feel like you can really connect with people on whatever level you want to connect with them on.

Leah Gervais: That is so powerful. I love that if something’s missing, let me help you see what it is and replace it. Absolute amazing Olivia. Well, this has been incredible. I have a few, I have three lightning questions for you. Are you ready? 

Olivia Talley: So ready. 

Leah Gervais: Okay. Okay. What is your most proud business moment up to this point?

Olivia Talley: I think it is when my clients tell me that they’re breaking up with someone.

Leah Gervais: That’s awesome.

Olivia Talley: I know break-ups are sad and they suck. But also if you are going to break up with someone, there is a reason. And when people just see it, click for them and they’re like, this is not the relationship that fulfills me and then meet someone else. And I’ve had this happen multiple times or like, Oh, I broke up with this person and I’ve met someone else. And this connection is like, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

Leah Gervais: Oh my God. That’s, I mean, I totally get it. That’s why you do what you do, but that’s an easy answer. What is your go-to when you’re having a tough business day, you know, we all have them, no matter how much mindset work you do, what do you do?

Olivia Talley: I honestly talk to my husband and I reach out to the mastermind community because it is so powerful to have a group of people, of ladies who are doing what you’re doing and feel what you’re feeling and just to say, Hey, I’m in this place and all of them, and you included obviously reach out and say, you know, it’s okay to feel this. This is how we move through it. And it’s just so helpful.

Leah Gervais: Oh, I’m so glad. Good, great answer. Don’t internalize things, you know, like you don’t realize, do you have a business building book or podcast that’s really influenced your journey?

Olivia Talley: I would say, um, I mean, yours, it’s been really impactful on me. And then, uh, the book that you actually recommended, um, The Science of Getting Rich that totally transformed my relationship with money and I have loved all the decisions I’ve been able to make because of it.

Leah Gervais: Oh, I love that. I’m so glad you showed that. It’s my favorite too. And I love that you loved it too. Well, thank you again so much for sharing your story. Can, um, where can people find you and all this will be linked to everyone listening. But go ahead and please share. 

Olivia Talley: Of course, so you can find me, on my website, thesealeddeal.com. Um, I am on Instagram. I’m on Facebook and instagram at @livtalley_dating_coach. Um, and I’m also on clubhouse and tik tok pretty much anywhere you want to find me.

Leah Gervais: Amazing. Love it. Well, thank you so much for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your entrepreneurship journey behind the scenes and a huge congratulations on everything you’ve done.

Olivia Talley: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. It’s been so good to sit here and chat with you.

Olivia Talley: Yeah, this was amazing. 

Leah Gervais: It was my pleasure. All right, visionaries, go check Liv out. Give her some love. If you loved this, message her and let her know and here is to your biggest vision!

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