Leah Gervais: Welcome back to the Your Biggest Vision show. And for those of you that are here, live a big warm welcome. I love when you guys join me, live for these things, feel free to ask any questions during this that you are curious about. I want to be pretty open about pregnancy, um, because I was kind of lonely during the first few months. 

Honestly, I didn’t have a whole, I actually have no close friends that have been pregnant. And of course you don’t tell anyone for the beginning. So I want to be pretty open with mine and answer some questions that you guys have sent in. And also, um, answer any questions that you guys have here live. So let me go ahead and share a little bit of the behind the scenes and the story. All, all of your comments are so cute. Thank you, Amber.

So, yes. So for context, I am 18 weeks pregnant at the time of this recording. Actually at the time of this release, I will be 19 weeks pregnant. So I am about halfway through my second trimester. I think honestly my second trimester has been, so it’s just flown by, in comparison to my first trimester, in which time it seemed to literally stand still. So I don’t actually even know when my third trimester starts, but all I know is the second trimester has been so much better. 

So I’ve really enjoyed pregnancy lately and I’m just really having an incredible experience. So I found out that I was pregnant pretty much the first day that you are able to find out. I found out on week four and I’m going to be very candid during this. So I’m not even gonna feel guilty about talking about women’s health or anything, but just to give you a little bit of a heads up, I’m going to be candid about what happens to women’s bodies.

So, uh, what I didn’t know until I got pregnant that the day that you miss your period, you are already four weeks pregnant because pregnancy actually starts and is considered medically to start the day of the last menstrual cycle you had before you conceive. And then before you miss your period. So when I found out I was already four weeks pregnant, but even so that is very, very early to find out. Usually people find out week five, week six when their period is a week or two late. Sometimes even later, but I found out pretty much the day of, so I found out and we had just gotten our puppy Ruby or beautiful puppy Ruby, um, like not even a week before. So it was kind of a chaotic time because we got Ruby when we didn’t know I was pregnant. And we basically felt like we, all of a sudden had these two babies.

We felt like we had this baby puppy Ruby, and then this baby inside of me. So we were of course over the moon at this news. And maybe I’ll share a little video I have of the day that we found out and what it was like together. And even though I looked back and those first few weeks were a little bit lonely and kind of hard, um, because I was just going through so many new changes and I didn’t tell anyone other than my husband. I think I always will cherish them a little bit because it was just special having just us know and no one else, no. Then at about week five, so pretty much a week after I found out, I realized that I knew the gender of this baby. Now he might be listening to this and think that’s absolutely ridiculous.

There is a 50% chance that you were wrong and there was a 50% chance statistically that I was wrong, but it was of all the unknown things that were happening to my body and of all the just changes that were going on and almost the changes in my entire life that were happening. You know, you really have to all of a sudden prepare your future for having a baby. This was the thing I was totally, totally certain about. It was confirmed that I was right. So I do know the gender of this baby. When we got our blood tests done a few weeks later. So that was one of the most magical parts of this whole experience. So far was feeling like I connected and communicated with, from my baby very, very early on. And I really believe because the first trimester was such a ride for me and I almost needed that reassurance that this baby almost could feel it and wanted to just give me a sign that I knew the baby was there.

So that was an incredible experience. I totally believe that’s what happened. Thank you, Amber, for supporting me. Sometimes I tell people and they’re just like, there’s no way you knew, like you just got lucky. It was a 50-50 guess. And I’m just so sure that that’s not true. I’m really sure that spiritually I knew. And, um, I just, I would have been completely shocked if I was wrong. So anyway, that was one of the very, very cool parts of the first few weeks of pregnancy. And I have to be honest that that was almost the only cool part of the very first few weeks of pregnancy. The four to eight week mark for me was very hard. I actually took a little, a few notes in my phone, which are kind of funny to look back at, but I just wanted to, um, kind of remember, oh, actually I can even share a little story about the days before I found out.

So, um, that I had forgotten about as, as I shared, uh, we had just gotten our puppy Ruby. And for those of you that know when you have a puppy, they often don’t sleep through the night for the first few nights. And that was the case with Ruby for the first like three nights, she would wake us up in the middle of the night. 

So I’m just sharing that because I was super tired the week before I found out those were my initial symptoms and the initial signs that I was pregnant, but I just attributed it all to, uh, to Ruby, into having a new puppy into not having enough sleep. So I found out I was pregnant on a Monday, but the weekend before now looking back, I can kind of look back and laugh at because there were very clear signs. So the first thing was that Saturday, uh, oh, no, it started that Friday.

So three days before we found out, um, it was like five 30 at night. And usually I go to bed at like nine. I’m an early bird. And so I would never take a nap like at 5:30, just a few hours before I go to bed, but I had finished working and I went out into our living room at our apartment in Miami, as I’m recording this we’re back in New York now, but I went into our living room and Adam was, you know, he had the TV on, he was doing stuff. He was like cooking or whatever. I don’t know, he’s being really loud and Ruby was playing and she was being really loud and I just completely crash on our couch, which is very unlike me. I do like naps here and there. But I would never be able to do it with like the TV on, I would always, you know, go into a room that was quiet in order to sleep.

And I didn’t even remember going to sleep. I literally just woke up on the couch and all this chaos was still going on around me. And I just thought, wow, I must be really tired from Ruby, but that’s not what was happening. And then the next morning I went into a spin class. Um, and when I came back from the spin class, I just was so exhausted, so exhausted. So I just told Adam I didn’t even like have a coherent sentence to form to him. I just sort of said, I have to go to sleep. And it was like noon. And I just went and took a nap for a good hour, uh, completely, completely out. You know, usually with naps, I don’t get into such a deep sleep, but I did that. And so looking back, it was pretty clear that these were the signs.

I just didn’t know that they were. And then the day before we found out that Sunday, we went out to brunch. It was Ruby’s first brunch. So the three of us were at brunch and I just remembered the waiter, came up to us and took our order. And for whatever reason, I didn’t question this, but I just ordered two entrees. I ordered red velvet, pancakes and eggs benedict, which I never would do. You would never order two entrees for yourself, but I didn’t question it. I just ordered both of them. And I ate both of them. Looking back it’s because I was so hungry because I was pregnant. So those were the very initial signs, even though I didn’t really know what they were all about. And then we found out the next day and looked back and then I looked back and thought, okay, this is making a lot more sense.

So anyway, once we got into waste four through eight, I have to say those were the hardest for me. And I am going to share this transparently just because I don’t really feel the point in hiding it. But I obviously do want to acknowledge that I knew how much of a blessing pregnancy was, and I would never want to come off as complaining about something that was so, so beautiful. and is so beautiful and it is so great, but I also don’t think that there’s any benefit to, uh, just pretending women don’t go through challenging times, even when they are blessings, you can be grateful for what you have and still experience turmoil in any situation. So anyway, weeks four through eight were the hardest for me, mostly mentally, physically, they were hard. I noticed changes to my body right away.

I, um, had this just constant feeling of extreme hunger and nausea all at the same time. So that obviously is a weird combination because I constantly wanted to eat. I constantly wanted food, but then I also felt really nauseous. Now I didn’t get sick or anything, but I just kind of had this. I felt like I was seasick all the time where like I wanted to eat more. I wanted to eat more to try to alleviate this, but then like just nothing really felt good. I was very uncomfortable. 

And I also noticed kind of my change in appetite right away. I’ve always been pretty healthy. I’ve always enjoyed eating vegetables and that was just no longer an option. I think the first thing I craved was cinnamon toast crunch cereal and I’ve really craved sweets. I’m still craving sweets, um, the whole time and I just wanted carbs and I started eating more and I gained weight right away, right away, I gained weight, which I’ll talk a little bit about later on.

Again I’m being very, I keep dropping this. I’m being very, um, okay. Did, and I hope that everyone is okay with that. So the physical parts of the first four to eight weeks or hard, but by far, the hardest part was the mental part. And I think there were a lot of layers for, um, for why it was so hard for me mentally. And I’ll say it once more. I acknowledged that I was very privileged to be pregnant and I’m not trying to complain about that, but I also do think that this was one of the more mentally challenging times that I’d been through, honestly, since I started my business. So essentially I think the layers of what happened, where that first of all, my body was going through extreme changes. And I was obviously very tired and more hormonal than usual.

This made me feel like, well, this just made work harder for me. I love to work. Those of you who know me and probably fell on my business can understand that I love what I do. I love my business. I usually get a huge high, um, from what I do. And I just wasn’t experiencing that work was starting to feel like something that I couldn’t handle. It was starting to feel just like something that I was failing at. And overall, I just had this extremely clear feeling of being a failure for about a month. And I think that this was compounded by the fact that, uh, no one knew that I was pregnant. So my sister who I’m very close with works with me full time. And I didn’t even tell her that I was pregnant for personal reasons, mostly because I wanted to tell my mom first and I wanted to tell my mom in person.

So really no one knew. And also it was just so early on. I kind of wanted to process it all by myself for a little while. But the point is my, both my sister from my sister’s standpoint and my, my main coworker, didn’t know. So I felt this sense of slacking at work. I felt like I was letting people down. I felt like I was letting my clients down. I really wanted to tell my clients, especially my mastermind clients, who I’m very close with and, you know, I have great relationships with, I really wanted to share it with them, but I just didn’t think I should do it quite yet. So I felt like if all, if only all these people knew, then I wouldn’t feel like such a failure because things that I’m not able to do would make sense. Now, looking back, I don’t actually think that anyone thought that I was failing.

I don’t think my clients thought I was failing. I don’t think my team thought I was failing. I’m sure. No one really noticed what I felt was very obvious, which is that I just wasn’t as productive, but it felt very real in the moment to me and with my hormones going the way that they were, it felt very real with my hormones. So I just want to share that piece in case you all, or any of you listening, have ever gone through times where you feel like a failure, because it feels very dark and it very isolating and it’s just, you can feel very, very angry at yourself. I know I did. And that was really, really hard and really challenging and really isolating because other than my husband who was very supportive and you know, didn’t want to, and wanted to talk to me about these things, but he would tell me I wasn’t failing and I didn’t believe him.

I was like, you don’t know, you’re not my client. You’re not my team. How can you really say, oh, all of you commenting that are clients that are like, I did not notice. I did not think you were failing. You guys are so sweet. Thank you for being so supportive. But that’s how I felt, because I know myself, I know my usual flow, my usual motivation and I just didn’t have it. And so I just, I didn’t feel like myself, you know, and I wasn’t sleeping and it just felt really mad at myself. It just was really a low time, honestly, and compounded by that was the fact that I didn’t really have any close friends in Miami. We had only lived there for a year and we were there during the pandemic. So we have made some friends, but no one that I felt at all comfortable confiding in and sharing what I was going through with, um, nor did we have any family in Miami.

So I felt very lonely on top of this. And I also just felt like I was struggling to do normal household things or just normal day-to-day things. Like, I don’t know, making meals or helping with my dog. So a lot more of just day to day life fell on my husband who was happy to take it on, but also runs his own business. And I could tell that he was just a little bit more tired than usual. So it was just really all hands on deck. And it was just kind of a crazy time. So my first semester was hard. There’s really no other way to say it. And sometimes I’ve shared this with people and they say things like, oh, it sounds like you had an extra challenging one. I don’t know that I did. It wasn’t so challenging that I was throwing up every day. It wasn’t so challenging that I actually think I was depressed. 

I think it’s a challenging time for everyone. And if women could normalize it and talk about the changes that your hormones go through, your body goes through, you have to go through as, as, uh, as an employee or an employer as a family member, as a friend, as a partner in your relationship, whatever roles you have, they are going to change. Even if it’s just a little bit, they change slightly. And that can be very hard for people who find their identity in their current roles. Like I did, you know, it was important to me to be a good entrepreneur, to be a good boss, to be someone my clients could rely on. I very much pride myself in being good at what I do and not being, not feeling great at those was a little bit of a loss of identity for me.

So anyway, I won’t dwell on it too much more, but I just want to be transparent because it was kind of challenging. And if you go through those things, you’re not alone. Um, and it is okay to ask for help. I wish I would have asked for help a little bit more, and there is light at the end of the tunnel when the time will pass. So, um, I also experienced a lot of anxiety in the early weeks. Like I’m sure many pregnant women do in the early weeks, just because you don’t know what is going to happen. And I don’t want to talk too much about anything that is triggering or that I don’t, you know, have the appropriate experience or background to talk about. But obviously a loss is a risk in the first trimester. And I was very anxious about that. Um, as I’m sure many women are.

So anyway, once I got to my eight week mark, uh, things started to get a bit better for me. First of all, I was able to go to the OB GYN. That’s the other thing is like you find out you’re pregnant and your doctor’s like sick, have fun with that for like a month. And so all you have is this stick that you peed on from CVS telling you that like your entire life is changing and you’re just sorta like sitting there wondering like, what do I do? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? What else should I be doing? Like, can someone help me? And, um, it’s just kind of a crazy experience. Yes, Amber, the first trimester, especially for the first baby is hard for all women, normalize this. I agree. I feel like I’d be much better equipped if I am blessed enough to get pregnant again in the future than I was now.

I think the first time it was probably very, very hard. So anyway, once I went to my eight week, uh, doctor’s appointment, I was able to have an ultrasound. I was able to hear the heartbeat. I was able to see an embryo and that alleviated a lot of my anxiety. Maybe some unwarranted, maybe some unrightly. So I guess is what I’m trying to say, because I still was in my first trimester and things are still at risk, but I had looked up the facts about risks in the first trimester and from what I had understood, once you do hear the heartbeat, risks are quite a bit lower. So that made me feel better. Additionally, I was then able to tell my mom and, um, my in-laws and then slowly started telling my family. And then I told my clients- I told my clients very early on, um, you know, before, before the end of the first trimester, my, my, and my mastermind anyway, my very high level clients.

And so that alleviated so much of the loneliness. A lot of my anxiety got a bit better. Um, and I also just felt like I started getting better at my physical symptoms. I still had that kind of like nauseous, but hungry feeling a lot. But I learned that if I just ate very frequently, like every two hours, uh, and stayed hydrated, it would usually be manageable. And overall things just got better. So weeks 10 through 12, or I’m sorry, like eight through 10 were pretty great. I really thought I was kind of through the worst of it. And I think I had to believe that just in order to stay positive, but then weeks 10 through 12 near the end of my first trimester, I, uh, started getting sick, like actually getting sick, but it was still not as annoying as the beginning of my first trimester.

I really wouldn’t feel nauseous at all during the day. I would feel absolutely fine. I was able to eat a lot more than I was able to eat, um, earlier on, but for whatever reason, all it would take was one whiff, of something that would set me off, like a smell of coffee or the smell of eggs or a taste of something that didn’t sit quite right. And I would get sick right away. And then I’d feel fine. So it wasn’t like I was uncomfortable all day, which was great. I still would have actually taken, getting sick honestly then the earlier time. But that did kind of come at the end of this first trimester, which was a little bit annoying. Okay. Then I finally got out of my first trimester and my second trimester came and this has been when things got, have been so fun.

This is when we started telling everyone, um, got to start telling friends and family, I got to do a little gender reveal with my grandma. It’s her first great-grandchild, which is so exciting. Um, and I was also very excited to move back to New York, but just because, I mean, for many reasons, I just liked New York better than Miami. So things started getting a lot more fun and a lot better. And, um, really pregnancy has just been a blast since then. Uh, and then something else that helped me that I didn’t know if I was going to talk about, because it might be a little bit taboo and I’ve received a lot of judgment from this. This is actually, I think my first dose of mom shaming. But I want to talk about it again because I felt alone in this topic and I don’t want other women to feel alone.

I made the decision along with my husband to get the COVID vaccine while pregnant and that was not an easy decision. It was not something I wanted to do. I want to be very clear about that. It was not something I was excited to do, but it was something that I felt like was a decision that had more pros with it, including lessening my anxiety about COVID. And remember I was living in Miami at this time. So Miami and Florida in general have not really taken this pandemic as seriously as other parts of the country. And so they really, people haven’t been wearing masks for months, um, way before the vaccine was accessible. And even a lot of people that didn’t wear masks. They just weren’t vaccinated. Now, this didn’t bother me that much until I got pregnant. And then whenever I was in elevators with people not wearing masks, elevators that had capacities and required masks, but people weren’t paying attention to, or whenever I was, um, in, in Uber’s, which also required masks and people weren’t wearing them, I got stressed out.

It just very much more concerned me about getting COVID while pregnant than it did. So that added to a lot of the anxiety I felt during the first trimester. And I think it also added to my loneliness because I sort of went through the first trimester in a little bit of a bubble. I, you know, I was going to the gym, wearing a mask before I got pregnant. I stopped going to the gym because people stopped wearing masks, even if they weren’t vaccinated. Um, I didn’t want to go to crowded like restaurants or anything anymore. I just was being more careful. Um, I was technically high risk at that point. So that’s how I was treating it. So anyway, I’m not going to get too much into that whole, uh, section, but I just do want to, I actually do want to share publicly that I made the decision to get the vaccine pregnant.

And it was not an easy decision. It was not one that I wanted to make, but the pros of protecting myself and my baby from COVID, uh, which we know has very dangerous effects for women that are pregnant as well as alleviating my stress, which I felt very strongly that the baby probably was feeling, um, seemed more important and more worth it than not getting the vaccine and risking COVID during the rest of my pregnancy, isolating myself and knowing that this vaccine had been administered to so many pregnant women at this point, and yes, it is still new, but vaccines are not new. So considering all of that, I did make the decision to get it. And at this point I can honestly say, I am happy with my decision to get it. I’ve seen my ultrasounds and my baby since and everything that looks healthy.

And of course, you know, God forbid anything happened. Um, I think being a mother is just about making the best decision you can at the time, even though you probably will mess up some of the times. So I just want to share that in case you are pregnant or you’re considering getting pregnant, or you’re going through any sort of vaccine guilt I had, I had a pharmacist make me cry. 

I had people publicly shame me for this decision. I have definitely been through the ringer because I made that decision. So, um, you should not feel ashamed for making the best decision for yourself, right. And in the way that you think you, you need to do for you and your, and your child. So anyway, that has also been very, uh, helpful because a lot of my anxiety has gone down and now that we moved, it’s been very helpful to, um, you know, just not have to worry about getting COVID basically.

So that brings us to today. I am, yeah, almost 19 weeks I will be 19 weeks at the time of this recording. And I’m very, very grateful and excited and I appreciate all of the love and the well-wishes and I will continue to kind of update you guys. Okay. I got a few questions, uh, from Instagram, for, uh, just pregnancy Q and A, and any questions you guys have, uh, let me know that for those of you that are here live, I would love to answer them. Okay. First question is, do I know if it is a girl or a boy? Yes, I do know. Like I said, I knew from week five and it was confirmed about 11 weeks into pregnancy and we are revealing it. Um, we are doing a little party for our friends, uh, in a few days, so I’m not going to share it now, but yes I do know.

Now. Uh, next question is, did I quit drinking to get pregnant? I have heard this from a few different people actually as well, people on Instagram as well as in my personal life. So for those of you that know, or that have followed me since the beginning of the year, you know that at the beginning of the year, I made the decision to go sober, to give up alcohol and to choose to be a non-drinker. And then I ended up getting pregnant three God. So sorry that this keeps falling. I ended up getting pregnant three months later. So a lot of people have been thinking that I got, I stopped drinking in order to help me get pregnant, or because I thought I was pregnant. Um, or just asking if I’m going to start drinking again, uh, when I am no longer pregnant. And the answer is that I stopped drinking for no one other than myself.

When I made the decision to give up alcohol, I had no idea that I would be expecting it had nothing, one decision had nothing to do with the other. And I really do feel like God was playing his part in helping me make that decision before I was pregnant or knew that I was going to get pregnant because I feel so grateful and blessed that I made that decision for myself and that I didn’t make that decision for anyone else. And so, no, it had nothing to do with my pregnancy. Will I quit drinking or will I start drinking again after I have this baby? I don’t know. I don’t think so. Um, I don’t miss it and I don’t really feel the need to, but I don’t know, never say never, I’m not kind of trying to pigeonhole myself into anything here.

I don’t really know what will happen. Um, but I certainly did not stop drinking to get pregnant. And I certainly will not start drinking because I have a child. Both of those are I think, pretty harmful, um, reasons to do so. And both of those are things I want to do. Those are the type of things I want to avoid when I made the decision. 

So no, my quitting alcohol and I get a lot of people have come out and told me that they thought that when I shared that I was no longer drinking that I was pregnant, I was not pregnant. Did not know I would be pregnant. The two had nothing to do with one or the other. Um, have I had any cravings or food aversions? Yes. So probably the biggest craving I’ve had is sour candy. And I have found out that it is because sour sour things are very natural to crave when you are nauseous, things like ginger lemon, mango, things like that.

There’s a reason that a lot of, you know, lozenges have those kinds of flavors because a sourness does alleviate nausea. Um, so I tried the healthy lozenges, I tried the healthy drops. I tried all of that and it doesn’t cut it. I want the sweet tarts. I want the nerds, the sour patch kids. I have wanted sour candy. So I started craving it a lot in the beginning when I was nauseous and I have kept eating it, I’m usually didn’t need that much candy, but I just let myself have sour candy. I don’t really care. So that has been probably my biggest craving. Um, I have, I have had other specific cravings randomly, like sometimes I’ll just want a bowl of chili at like nine in the morning. Um, I’ve very specifically craved, uh, Le Pain quotidien avocado toast. Um, so I’ll have very specific cravings.

And then once I have the thing, I don’t really have the craving anymore, but pretty much if something like that comes into my head, yeah. I do need to eat a pretty quickly, but I haven’t had any crazy cravings. Like I know my grandmother, Craig chalk when she was pregnant, probably because she needed the magnesium, thank God we have, you know, prenatal vitamins nowadays that, uh, help you get those vitamins. Um, so you don’t crave crazy things. I haven’t really had anything like that or, or crazy combinations or anything else like that. 

So just lots of sour candy in terms of food aversions. Yes. Tumeric has made me very like, even just talking about it now I’m struggling to do so soup in general. I can’t really keep down, which is hard because soup is usually one of my favorite things and also usually helps with nausea and usually calms your stomach.

But something about the acidity of the broth is just a no-go. Um, and I also, in my first trimester, could not keep down spinach at all. Now I can, it’s fine. Um, but for whatever reason in the beginning, it always, it never sat with me. So those are the things that I have not been able to eat. Um, but yeah, other than that, my food habits, I definitely eat less healthy than I usually do. I don’t, I just don’t really care as long as I’m healthy enough. And my baby’s healthy, like life is too hard, you know, why beat yourself up and make yourself feel guilty for not wanting a certain thing or, or wanting a certain thing or anything like that. I just, that’s not really the pregnancy experience I’m trying to have. So I’ve been pretty easy on myself with whatever I want to eat.

I’ve been very grateful and lucky that I have continued to exercise and want to exercise. IT hasn’t really been a struggle for me in the very least. I walk Ruby every single day and walking has been really helpful. So that has really helped me stay healthy. Um, as my food habits have dramatically changed. Um, but yeah, I feel great. The second trimester has been great and I’m looking forward to the rest of my pregnancy. 

Okay. Any questions for those of you that are here live, thank you for those of you that stuck with me and those of you that were here live. I hope that you guys had fun hearing about this. I will just wait a few minutes to see if you have anything you’re curious about anything you want to know about how I did this with work, or if we’re changed. Um, anything, just any questions that you have at all. I will just be here for a minute.

Oh, final thing I can announce before we wrap up is that, uh, I am going to be doing a, an interview series of other online business owners who are mothers, um, over the next several months, pretty much up until my due date. Uh, basically picking their brains on everything about being an online business owner and a mother. 

So from how they prepared for maternity leave to any tips on handling pregnancy, while running a business to any tips on, um, having a newborn and running a business, how much time did they take off, uh, pressures that they experienced within their family dynamics, um, about, you know, money and, and being the breadwinner or anything like that. 

So, uh, stay tuned for those. I’m very excited. I’m interviewing some really, um, exciting people, uh, people who run multi-million dollar online businesses that are willing to share their stories of being mothers, becoming mothers, and becoming pregnant really the whole journey and how they have managed to do so with an online business.

So stay tuned for those. I think we’re going to do one a month for the next five or six months. All right. I don’t see any new questions. Just lots of very lovely comments. So thank you guys for being here. I hope that you enjoyed this very personal episode. I hope that, um, if you are mostly here for online business, that this did not bore you, uh, I just, I know that I read a lot of pregnancy recaps and things like that from bloggers when I first found out. 

So I wanted to share my journey as well and answer the questions you guys had shared on Instagram. Thank you again for all of your well wishes. I will continue to keep you updated on this journey and DM me on Instagram if you listened to this and let me know what your favorite part was, and thank you again for all your support. All right, visionaries, I’ll talk to you very soon. I hope you guys have a great rest of your day. Here is to your biggest vision! 

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