Transcript of Episode

Leah Gervais: Welcome back to with the Your Biggest Vision show. I am your host, Leah. I am the founder of Urban 20 Something and I’m the host of this podcast, The Your Biggest Vision podcast. I am obsessed with all things entrepreneurship. I love helping my clients and you all on this podcast and the readers of my website. And anyone else that interacts with me both on and offline, um, do more entrepreneurial things in life. I think that it’s the, the, the way to live. I think it’s the real way to make impact in your own life and in the, in the worlds and in the lives of others. And so I’m really, really grateful to be here with you guys today for our latest episode, which is all about it. It’s based off a trip I did in Italy recently, but really it’s about manifesting, it’s about visualizing and it’s about making things happen and really making big leaps in your life. 

So I’m very excited to share with you guys these takeaways and let me know where you’re tuning in from. Uh, those of you that are watching live and those of you that are listening to the recording, please do know that you can come to our live recordings every Monday at 10:00 AM I do them on Instagram and Facebook because I love doing things live with you guys and it’s a really fun way to interact with me so you can always tune in there. I also just love being with you guys on Monday mornings. I love Mondays and I did not always love Mondays. I used to hate Mondays. I used to get the Sunday scaries really bad. I used to be nervous about what the week ahead would hold. I felt so out of alignment with who I was. Maybe you guys can resonate with that. Some of you that are building your own businesses are wanting to start a business and wanting to work for yourself. 

It’s not that I had a bad job or that I even hated my job. I just knew it wasn’t what I should be doing. I knew that there was something different for me that I would be able to exercise my strengths in a better way, in a different way, but I didn’t always have clarity. It was really murky and muddy and now I ain’t, Mondays are my favorite days because I’m so grateful for the business I’ve created and what I get to do every week, but even still, even for those of us that are already self employed and even for those of us that already have our businesses. I think Mondays can be a, an easy time to get caught into the Merck of entrepreneurship. And by Merck I mean the obstacles that are inevitable. Where’s my next client come from? Coming from? Am I gonna make enough money this week? 

Am I gonna make enough money this month? Uh, did this sale go the way that I wanted it to? Am I really doing things exactly right? You know, all these kinds of questions. I can get really noisy and we can ask ourselves. And at the end of the day, we’re all only human and we’re all doing the best we can. But I really like to come to to this on Mondays at 10:00 AM because it’s a reminder of what a blessing we have in front of us. A fresh week, a clean slate. Absolutely anything is possible this week. Anything we put our minds to can manifest this week. And so we really need to remember that we are the drivers of our, of our car, of the car that is our life. We are not victimized to the problems that every entrepreneur deals with. We get to decide how we’re approaching them and how we’re approaching the week. 

And I hope that this is a reminder to you that um, you can approach it in any way you want and you can make anything you want happen this week. This could be the week that everything changes for you. This could be the week that you go and do a new month, a new quarter, the last quarter of the year, doing something bigger and more dramatic and more profound and more committed than ever before. I know I am doing something more committed than ever before because I’m getting married this week. For those of you that did not see, I have my bride cup. It’s wild. You can, it’s awkward. Anyway, let’s dive into today’s content and topic. So about two weeks ago, I spent a week in Italy with my best friend Natalie. It was her 30th birthday and she wanted to do this trip in Italy to celebrate 30 she was super excited for this new decade and really excited for everything that 30 was going to symbolize. 

So this was an important birthday to her. And this is the way she wanted to celebrate. So we did a little bit of time in, it was all on the Amalfi coast. We did a bit of it in Ravello and then the rest of it and Posey Tano. And we actually like stayed in the towns. I sort of realized that after I started talking to more people that a lot of people would stay in Sorento or Capri and then they would do day trips to Amalfi, Ravello and Positano. But we stayed actually in them, which I highly recommend by the way, because the towns were so much better and they were just so beautiful, amazing. Um, and this trip was what she wanted to do. And when she told me what she was thinking about last year, um, and we kinda started playing with different ideas of where to go. 

We, we thought maybe we’d do Costa Rica. And then we also had thought about doing like Greece. Um, when we toyed with Italy, I immediately had the thought of staying on a particular hotel in Ravello because I have had my eye on this hotel for years. You guys years and without going into too much of a boring story, uh, when I started my business for some reason you are from Costa Rica. So great. I, I do have a big soft spot in my heart for Costa Rica. I studied abroad there in college and it’s, it’s really magical place. But anyway, without going into too much detail, when I first started my business, I really did a lot of dreaming about what, you know, owning my own business, having a six figure business, having a laptop business where it could work from anywhere. Um, what that would mean for me and what it would, what would look different in my life than the way it was then. 

And really this was like last year, 2018 was kind of a year. Everything in my life changed because my business really took off. And I remember before that, before 2018 seven 2017 I made this vision board, it was like a digital vision board and it was a Google drive folder. And I just put in a bunch of photos of representation of how I thought my life could look different if I really made my business happen in the way that was closest to my heart and in the way that I most desired. And at the time, it’s not like my life was bad by any stretch of the imagination, but I was making, you know, an entry level salary at a nonprofit in New York. So nonprofits already don’t pay that much. New York is the most expensive place to live. I was in my young twenties so I didn’t really have all that much professional experience. 

And all this is to say that my life was not luxurious. It was good, I had a good life, but I was not able to stay in the types of hotels that I had dreamed of. Um, I was not able to travel all that often, you know, and some of this was because I had a job. I couldn’t just like take off when I wanted to and I couldn’t go for extended amounts of time to different places, et cetera. So, uh, I need this digital vision board. And I remember just committing that last year I was going to start making these things happen and I was going to start living in a way and working in a way and being an entrepreneur in a way that equated these dreams that I had for my life and for myself. And I just can think of these two examples. 

One of them was vividly this hotel that I just stayed at in Italy. It was called the Belmont hotel Caruso. And I saw the pool that was like tucked away in the mountains, but overlooking the mountains and the coast of Italy. And I just thought it was so beautiful and such a, it would just be such a sign for me that that I have made it, you know, we all have those things that make you feel like, wow, I, I’ve succeeded or that if I had that then I would feel like I did X, Y, andZ or whatever. And that was one of them for me. Another thing I had on that was an Equinox, which is a luxury gym in New York. And I just was like, Oh my God, one day I want to join it. And how amazing would that be if I could go into their saunas and steam and blah, blah, blah. 

And now I go, I’ve been, that was the first thing I did last year when my business started taking off. And now I go to Equinox every day and it’s actually a good reminder that I still need to be very grateful that I get to do that because it was not the reality and it would not be my reality if I did not have my business and do everything that I have done to get here. So that’s a bit of background about why this trip to Italy is something that I feel is worth sharing with you. Obviously it was partially a trip for my friend and so it’s pretty personal, but at the same time it wouldn’t have been able to happen if there weren’t some things about my business and my personal development and my mindset that I really committed to. And those are the kinds of things I want to share with you. 

So whatever your version of that hotel in Italy is, whether that’s a particular luxury vacation you want to take or an apartment you want to move into, or maybe you, you then are quitting your job or maybe it’s a fabulous purse or something like that. We’re not here to judge, but I’m sure that you all have something in mind. Um, or maybe a few things that would just be a symbol of you having kind of made it in your mind. So if you’re watching this live, I’d love for you guys to put in the chat. What sort of splurge or vacation or really exciting thing would just really light you up and be like, wow, my business is taking off exactly the way I want it to. This is so exciting. Let me know below and now let’s go ahead and work our way backwards a little bit. 

And uh, knowing that context, I want to share with you guys the five specific things that I learned about personal development and mindset and just making big things happen in your life from this trip to Italy. So the first one was that visualization works. And I’ve actually been kind of talking about this a lot since I was in Italy, but I think it’s worth repeating again, visualization is one of my favorite, um, mindset tools and motivators. It really works for me. Um, it’s something I strongly believe in. In my mind. Visualization is not about visualizing something into thin air, but it is about making sure that your mind is open and receptive to whatever it is that you’re wanting to get to. And that doesn’t happen if you’re not actually believing it’s a possibility for you. So when you visualize yourself in that situation, in the obtaining of whatever your, your purses or your vacation or whatever it is, then throughout the day your subconscious mind is going to take actions that will benefit you to get to that point rather than taking actions out of fear. 

So let’s get a very clear, with an example here, we’re going to use this Italy example. This hotel obviously was pricey. I’m just going to be blunt with it. It was one of the more expensive hotels I’ve ever stayed at. And then we splurged and we got a suite and we really did it right and I really wanted to do it that way. So let’s fast forward about two years when my business was just starting to take off. At that time, I had been really playing small with my business. I had joined a few programs and done a few coaching programs, but I hadn’t really gone all out and I hadn’t really hired a high level mentor. I hadn’t really gotten into a mastermind or something that would really take it to the next level. And the reason is because I was terrified of spending the money of what those things cost. 

They are not inexpensive and I hadn’t really known that I was going to be able to make the money back to do them. So I felt like I was being responsible by not investing heavily in myself at that point. Through visualizing this hotel and the way that I wanted to live and the things that I wanted to start happening in my life, I was then able to make better decisions based on what would get me to those places. So I had to start being honest with myself and realizing that if I wanted to end up on that coast of Italy in that infinity pool in this hotel, then I needed to be able to build a business that made six figures a year at least. Um, you know, that made me over five figures a year and I didn’t know how to do that on my own. 

So because I was nurturing my mind and because I was deciding that I was going to change her, I was thinking because I decided that I was going to get to that level of business success. I started thinking differently about the actions I needed to take to get there, so simply put, that led me to then actually do invest in a higher level coach in a mastermind. I did like an ads training. I spent a lot of money, lot of money I didn’t have at the time I put money on credit cards, which was scary, but here you guys know the ending of the story. Here I was a few weeks later looking out at the exact view that was on the screen of my computer and then never would have happened if I didn’t stop playing small, if I didn’t invest in myself at a higher level, if I didn’t learn from the best, if I didn’t totally commit and the only reason I was able to do that was because I had visualized and embedded into my brain what could happen if I did go all in and I started thinking about the best case scenarios instead of the worst case scenarios. 

Speaker 1: (14:02)

So visualizing is powerful and it isn’t, doesn’t make things necessarily easy, but it will help you make decisions that get you to where you want to be. And that is all that goal setting and goal achieving are. It’s just a series of decisions. You make a decision, you’re going to be successful, you make a decision, you are not going to hold yourself back. You’re making, you make a decision, your business is going to take off and then you start investing in that way. You start spending your time in that way. You start talking about it that way, you start connecting with people that see you that way. It’s a chain of events and so visualizing is a really powerful way to set in motion to chain that you need to get to where you need to be. Let me take a sip of water. You guys can see my bride cup and a little excited for my wedding if you haven’t gotten up caught on. 

Okay. Another thing that I learned from this luxurious trip to Italy and how important it was for me to recognize that this trip never would have been able to happen not even a year ago, let alone two years ago is this concept of asking yourself, if not you, then who? So if you are trying to get your business off the ground, if you are trying to quit your job, if you are trying to stay at a luxury resort and go to Italy, or if you’re trying to buy the next Chanel back, whatever it is, you may have these little thoughts come up in your head. Things like, I’ll do that one day when I have X, Y, and Z amount of money, or I am just not ready to quit my job. Someone else could. But for a list of reasons, I’m just not ready to do that. 

Or I do want to hire a mentor, but I just don’t have enough money right now. And so that’s just not meant for me. Other people have the money to hire her, but I don’t. You have to start asking yourself, what about it does, like what, why are you making yourself inferior to other people? We all have access to resources. Some of us might have it in different ways or an easier ways, but there’s no reason that someone else shouldn’t be doing something that you are. So it would’ve been easy for me two years ago to look at that hotel and say, you know what? I work at a nonprofit. I’m in my twenties. I don’t have a master’s degree. Um, I don’t make six figures and I don’t have the flexibility to travel whenever I want. So why would I ever really think that I would end up at this five star hotel in Italy, you know, next to the pool, looking over the mountains, having wine delivered to me. 

That’s not for me, right? That’s for people that have skipped figure jobs or businesses. That’s for people that do work for themselves and have flexibility. That’s for people that have financial success. Um, so here’s the thing. You can ask what is different about those people than who I am right now and change those things. So I then became the person that had my own business. I then became the person that had a six figure business. I then became the person that works for myself. So I had flexibility to travel. Ask yourself if you are taking yourself out of the game, disqualifying yourself, discounting your own potential because you think that the goals you have are meant for other people. You are the only damn thing standing in your way. I’m going to say that again. If you are ever assuming that other people are meant for a goal or a dream or a total like fantasy that you have and you are not, you are by definition the only thing standing in your way. 

So ask yourself, why aren’t you going for the goal that you want? Why aren’t you hiring the mentor you want? Why aren’t you spending the men money you want? Why do you think that other people can have these things? And you can’t. You know, I’m Catholic. I grew up Catholic. I am getting married in a Catholic church because I don’t know if I’ve mentioned to you guys, but I am getting married on Saturday. And one of the core principles of Catholicism, which hopefully even if you’re not Catholic, you can still, uh, like groove with, is that we’re all created equal in the eyes of God. There is no superiority and you should not ever feel inferior or superior to your fellow man. You should all be there for each other and you should all know that we are on an equal playing field in the eyes of God. 

So why are we telling ourselves that just because so and so had a trust fund. They can spend money on their business, but we can’t. Or why are we telling ourselves that just because you aren’t self-employed now doesn’t mean you can’t be quite soon and then have the opportunity to do what you want to do. Ask yourself, challenge your own limits. Ask yourself, if not me, then who? Why them not me? Why am I allowing other people to be better of me than me in my own eyes? We’re not doing that. Alrighty. Let’s talk about takeaway number three from this amazing trip and the manifestation that is that it was a result of, the third thing is that it’s so important to find people that push you higher. So I mentioned that this was my, for my very good friend, Natalie’s 30th birthday and I’m just so grateful for her. 

You know her and I have such an amazing story of how we met. I feel bad for my soon to be husband because Natalie and I have a much better how we met story. We met at a trashy construction bar here in New York where we were the only two girls and we hit it off and have been best friends ever since. But what’s kept our friendship alive is an only Jamison and bars in New York, although that has been helpful. But it’s that we really push each other. And so when her and I decided that we wanted to go do this trip in Italy and we wanted to stay at the Belmond and we wanted to stay in a suite, um, you know, there were obstacles that come up with these things. Like there always are, just like there is, if you’re starting your own business, like there is, if you’re quitting your job, like there is, if you’re doing anything big, um, you’ll have stress. 

You’ll have questions about should I be spending money on this? Can I spend money on this? Where’s this money come from? Do I have enough time to take off of work? I’m getting married a month later. Should I really be going to Italy? All these voices will come up. But because I have that accountability and I have that friend and her and I both just did not let each other back down because we were relentless in the pursuit of what really mattered to us. We did, we made it happen. And so this can be applied in all sorts of ways. This can be about your friend group. If you are an entrepreneur or you want to be an entrepreneur and you want to quit your job and you want to start living a bigger life, get in circles like that. As I mentioned last year, I started investing in masterminds and coaching and that made all the difference in the world to me because I started surrounding myself with people that thought like me, that dreamt like me, that pursued things the way I did, and that’s exactly what I needed to remind myself that these things are possible and stop holding myself back. 

So really evaluate your current community as it isn’t about like unfriending people isn’t like kind of my space issue or whatever, but it’s not about that. It’s about being honest about who’s going to push you when they see you. Struggle. This is so important because a lot of times that won’t be your parents. A lot of times that won’t be your significant other. And a lot of times it won’t be your friend. Sometimes, I don’t want to say always, but a lot of times the people that love you most, if they see you struggling or they see you hurting or they see you running up against a challenge or they see you doing something that is challenging and that you’re running up a bunch of obstacles against, they may tell you not to do it. And it’s not because they don’t love you or have your best interests at heart. 

It’s because they want to look out for you. And if they’re seeing you in pain or, or, or hurting or challenging yourself in a way that is uncomfortable, they want to try to alleviate you of that pain, especially especially significant others and partners and things like that. Um, this is a very common trend I see with my clients and their husbands or boyfriends because boyfriends and husbands often have, you know, a male instinct where they want to protect their woman. So it comes from a loving place, but it isn’t in those places of no pain, uh, ease, lack of obstacles. We don’t, that’s not where we grow. And that’s definitely not where you’re going to get a life transformation, which I’m sure so many of you have in mind from what I talked about earlier. You know, what would be the one thing that would signify to you that you made it or maybe you have a few things, is going to take quite a bit of transformation to get to that place. 

And that comes with a lot of discomfort, a lot of scariness, a lot of things people are going to have judgment against. If I told everyone how much I spent on this trip to Italy, especially at that hotel, you bet your bottom dollar people would have said, you know why? Why? Why do you think you could spend that much money? Or how are you spending that much money when you have a wedding coming up? Lots of judgment. But I knew that this is what I wanted to do. I knew what it signified to me and knew what it meant to Natalie. So her and I brought it in, got together, made it happen. And that’s what you need to do with your biggest dreams. Find people that will not let you back down when the going gets tough but we’ll help you keep the vision in your, you know, highest regards and in your head always so that you are constantly in pursuit of it. 

All right you guys, we have two more. Thank you guys for all of you that are here live with me. I’m loving all the emojis. Thanks for being so involved. Um, before we do the final two, I just want to let you guys know that I am doing a Q for focus group. A, it is a group business coaching program for the final quarter of the year and it is going to focus both on ending 2019 with a bang and making sure you’re really set up for 2020 with a really clear plan and strategy. I, a lot of times the entrepreneurs like go into a new month or a new quarter or new year and they are just then starting to plan everything. Um, you know, and, and that usually makes them feel it does end up putting them behind. So if you are interested in a group business coaching with me, if you are interested in being in this kind of community like I just mentioned, where people don’t let you back down, where your biggest dreams are, our biggest trains, where we really buy into what it is that you’re trying to pursue and how your business can help you do that, um, then this could be a great fit for you. 

It’s the lowest cost investment to work with me for the of the year. So if you are concerned about the price of investing, then this could be the exact fit for you. So DME, if you want to hear any more about that and let me know if you’re interested, it will fill up. So do not delay, um, because I wouldn’t want you to miss your spot. So just wanted to make sure you guys knew that, especially as we’re talking about the power of being in a likeminded community. Alrighty, so recapping the first three takeaways from this trip to Italy. The first was that visualization is powerful. The second is asking yourself, if not me, then who? The third is to find people that push you higher and the fourth is to always remember that you will never have more to gain than if you start today. Have you been wanting to buy a domain but you haven’t yet buy it today? 

Do you need to send a sales email, send it today? Do you need to join a mastermind? DM me and get in this so that you aren’t doing things alone and I know that it feels like a lot. It can feel like a lot to know which things to choose. It can feel like a lot to know when it’s the right time, if things will work, et cetera. I know there are a lot of decisions, but as I shared from the story with you guys, this wouldn’t have been able to happen if I was in the same place two years ago. And that means that even if I would’ve waited an extra month to start my business or an extra, I don’t know, three months to hire a mentor or an extra week to really decide that I was going to go all in, there’s a chance this trip couldn’t have happened. 

And that’s because we never have as much to gain as if we start right now. So even though we can feel overwhelming and scary to know, what does it even mean to start, how do I know if I’m ready to start? What should I choose to start? Where should I choose to allocate my time most? Uh, you have to push yourself and make some decisions and also reach out to me. This is what I’m here for. This is what I help my clients and audience do is prioritize what is going to help move the needle for them so they don’t feel as overwhelmed. And just remember, you will, you will not even know the things that you’re going to miss out on by not starting today. I never would have even known that I would have the opportunity to come to Italy in under two years and stay at this place that, you know, I had visualized as a place that like maybe I’d go on in my thirties or something. Um, but you don’t know unless you start. So on behalf of all the opportunities that you can’t even imagine because they’re beyond your wildest dreams on behalf of those, start something new today. Push herself somewhere further today. Make a bitter, better, bigger decision today. Do it and be on behalf of the wildest dreams that you don’t even know exist for yourself yet. 

Alrighty thanks so much for joining. Have a great day. All right. And then the final takeaway from this trip to Italy is ready to never ever settle, ever. Never. This doesn’t mean don’t compromise. I want to be clear on that. Like we obviously have to consider other people in our lives and things like that. But if you have something in your heart, if you can go to Italy and you really want to stay in a five star hotel because it’s just a dream of yours and you know what it would mean to you and it’s expensive and you could say in a very pretty equally pretty four star hotel, that would be much less really ask yourself do you actually want to stay? Which one do you really want to say? Now some of the time we all have different values for, so for some people they would not act like it would be lost on them to spend that much money on a hotel because it would all kind of all be the same to them. 

And that’s fine. I have things like that. Like for instance, one of the things the splurge is I could care less about is eating out a lot. I like I, it’s just not my thing. I don’t care that much. I’m not a huge foodie. I like cooking more because I like to eat specifically healthy things. So, you know, big splurges of dinner aren’t usually worth it to me because they’re not my value system. It would be wasted on me. However, things that are worth it to me, things like luxury hotels, my business taking off the way that I wanted to, I’m making as much money as I want to. Um, being able to shop the way that I want to, etc. Those things that are really in alignment with me. It is so important that I don’t settle for less than what I really want out of those things. 

And this is a tough one to swallow because I think a lot of us are taught that we need to compromise. And yes, compromising is important, but it’s different because every time you settle, when it comes to something that’s very aligned with you and something that truly lights you up, you honestly are giving a little bit of yourself away. I really believe that we have our own personalities and things that feel aligning to us versus other people because it’s what makes us who we are. It’s what makes us the type of friend, daughter, you know, partner, um, parent, et cetera. Uh, whatever relationship you have in your life because of the things that are most authentically you. And so when it comes to pursuing the things that most light you up and most set your soul on fire, you cannot settle. You can’t, if you want to be an entrepreneur and you want to quit your job and everyone in your life is telling you that that’s dangerous and that’s risky and they don’t know if you’re ready and what if you don’t make it or what are you going to do without the salary? 

But you know, in your heart that that’s what is cut out for you. You have to pursue it because otherwise you are not being your truest self. And none of us can be the best parent, daughter, wife, partner, um, you know, whatever relationship you’re thinking of, if you aren’t being the truest version of yourself. And so every time we settle, every time we allow us to choose to do something because it might seem more responsible, that’s actually a fear based decision. If I would’ve stayed at a different hotel, it would have been because I would have said that I was being quote more responsible by not spending as much money. But in reality that is just a representation of fear that I wouldn’t be able to make that money back, that I wouldn’t be able to make the money beforehand, that I wouldn’t be able to, you know, make that happen for myself. 

Uh, and when you give into fear and you make decisions based on fear, then you are giving into, you are letting fear dictate your life. Um, and you’re giving away the things that matter to you most and the things that really light you up in the things that make you the most you. So the world needs you and can’t say this clearly enough. The world needs you in your most authentic self. Especially with everything going on in the world right now. You know, really having your authentic story message, whether you’re a business owner or not. I think most people watching this are business owners, entrepreneurs, bloggers, et cetera. But nonetheless, your authenticity and alignment with who you really are is the most important thing and the only way to create longterm success both professionally and personally for you. So never settle on the things that matter most to you. 

Go into them all in, go all in, do so unapologetically. If you need a better community to support you in doing that, reach out to me or find one. There’s plenty, but settling is not in your best interest, even when it can be mass as something that’s responsible or a smarter decision, et cetera, because that’s a fear based decision rather than a one that’s totally aligned with yourself. Okay. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode on my five takeaways from my trip to Italy. Um, let me know when your favorite one is. Uh, okay. So you are sorry to interrupt. You just want to know what my type of businesses I do business coaching for entrepreneurs and I also host this podcast obviously and I, my general message is that I promote entrepreneurship and so I’m always trying, this podcast is about the mindset of entrepreneurship and how you can hold onto your entrepreneurial vision. 

Uh, my, my courses and my programs are a bit more tact based. Um, they are, you know, marketing focus. They are um, marketing in general focused in digital marketing. Um, and so my big mission in life is to help people be better, braver and more successful entrepreneurs. Alrighty. Thank you all so much for tuning in. And just a quick reminder that we do have a Q for business coaching program we are doing, it starts here soon. Um, it is going to be a really exciting way to stay accountable as you go through Porter four and to set yourself up to make 2020 really great year is the lowest investment to work with me for the rest of the year. So do not miss out if this is calling you at all. Remember everything that we just talked about. How important it is to ball and how important it is to commit, and I can help you do these things so you don’t have to do this alone. You definitely don’t have to play the guessing game. Let me know what I can do to help you, but no matter what, I hope you guys enjoyed this here is to your biggest vision. I’ll talk to you guys soon. Have a great, great week.

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