This April marks four years since I purchased the domain Urban20Something.com. Seeing what has become of it since then is a dream come true. Leah four years ago could only have dreamed of working from anywhere in the world, never having a boss again, having over a six-figure salary with NO graduate school, and most importantly, working with the most amazing clients I could’ve asked for. Grateful is an understatement!

Here are the four biggest changes in my thinking in the last four years:

1- Success is an inside job

For years, I had big dreams for my life, personally and professionally. I was happy, but continued to see all that as far away from me. The career, the success, the lifestyle, etc. and I thought until I achieved many of those things, I wouldn’t feel the reward of those things. Building this business helped me see that in order to have what I want to have and achieve the success I want, I needed to FIRST become the person that had that success.

2- You will always be the only reason you’re not ready

Before I started my business, I couldn’t have realized how often I was ‘waiting for permission’ to move forward with things.

Waiting for my boss to give me a raise in order to buy something luxurious for myself.

Waiting to know WordPress perfectly before I was ready to launch my website.

Waiting to have X amount in savings in order to spend Y amount

Waiting to have sold 100 ecourses before I could sell something for over $1,000

… Life isn’t about waiting for a fictitious permission slip. Only you can give that.

3- Don’t work unders stress

I used to push myself and work myself to the bone, day and night. Then, when things didn’t work the way I wanted, I would have a meltdown. I’d think that I just can’t work anymore, so how on earth are things supposed to work?

The answer was that I was working from a place of stress. The only times my business and income move forward was when I was working from an inspired place. It was harder than you might think to break my habit of working all the time and shift to reacting to stress by taking a break. My five steps to get into inspired action break this down.

4- Acting out of fear is a form of self-abuse

I wouldn’t have even understood this concept a few years ago and I don’t say it lightly. Abuse is no joke to others, and also to ourselves. But when we deny ourselves of our potential, we are, by definition, preventing ourselves from growing. Think of a plant that’s trying to sprout up, but is physically being held down and unable to blossom. That’s what happens when we don’t move forward with our own dreams, say “yes” to the path that’s calling us, invest in ourselves, etc. And it’s so, so common in women. It’s disguised as responsible, thoughtful, selfless. But it’s not. It’s emotional abuse. yourself and by preventing your own genius from coming out, you’re withholding it from others too.