Today’s guest on the Your Biggest Vision Show is Susie Moore, Author of Stop Checking Your Likes. This is Susie’s second time on the show and she is here today to talk to us about her newest book, “Stop Checking Your Likes”. In the thick of this global pandemic, I cannot think of a more fitting time to absorb the inspirational advice that Susies has to share.
Tune in to hear:
- My favorite two word phrase of Susie’s that’ll change your life!
- Concrete steps on how to cultivate your vision and discover exactly what you want
- Amazing advice from Susie on how to find your power
Transcript of Episode
Leah Gervais: Hey guys, welcome back to the Your Biggest Vision show. I’m your host Leah Gervais and I am excited and flattered that we have miss Susie Moore on our podcast for the second time, actually. So welcome back, Susie.
Susie Moore: Thank you Leah. I love speaking with you. So any excuse, I’ll take it.
Leah Gervais: Oh, I feel the same way you are. You are the most visionary. You’re the biggest visionary.
Susie Moore: I feel like I belong here. Thank you.
Leah Gervais: You do. You do. You are exactly the kind of people that we love having here. Um, and we are here with a really kind of exciting reason. So we are here to talk about your newest book. Stop checking your legs. Congratulations on this.
Susie Moore: Thank you so much. I’m so happy that you’ve had a chance to read it before everybody else did.
Leah Gervais: Yes. I feel very honored to have done so you guys this book, like at the time of this recording, if you listen to it in real time, we are in the thick of the Corona virus of this pandemic of the craziest thing I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. I live in New York, which is the center of it. Susie is a new Yorker who currently lives in Florida, so she has this personal attachment to it on both ends. Um, and this has been exactly what I need right now and what I would recommend you reading as well right now because self care and putting yourself first is more important than ever, especially if you want to keep moving forward with your vision during this time, which I encourage you to do. But I’m not going to lie. The media, the news, it’s hard. It’s intense. Um, and this has really kept it real. So that’s the, that’s the vibe I have from it. And I just want to thank you for that Susie, and like to share with you that it’s gotten me through some of this.
Susie Moore: Oh, thank you. What a wonderful thing to hear. I mean, you’re right, it’s a very weird time. I mean, this is, we don’t know how long it’s going to last. It’s kind of just unfolding before us day by day. So yeah, I think it’s good to protect your focus. What it is that your giving your attention to that you have control over. And I think that that’s the message certainly in the book too.
Leah Gervais: Definitely. And just also, you know, giving yourself the permission to not know how to navigate this. And I think a lot of people are wondering how do I show up on social media? Do I keep, you know, going with my business is that insensitive? And knowing that none of us know how to deal with this. And I think your book really does such a great job of making it practical to give yourself your own permission and not look for permission elsewhere. And it just feels more relevant than ever right now.
Susie Moore: Oh, well thank you. I feel as if, uh, there’s no right or wrong way to live your life right and navigate a situation like the one that we’re in. I mean, we all need to be responsible. We’re all staying home, we’re doing the things that we’re told. But how else do we handle it? I mean, it’s entirely up to us and I feel like it’s so easy to abdicate our power. Abdicate what it is that we can, you know what it is that we have control over even in our small homes, right? Even in our apartments, in our minds, most importantly as why I always like to kind of put my attention there thinking, what is it? You know, where could I be powerful? Where are my options? And when you look, you always see that there are so many.
Leah Gervais: Totally. I totally agree. Love it. Well, let’s go back a little bit because you obviously wrote this book before you had any idea that we were going to be in this moment in time.
Susie Moore: Oh yeah.
Leah Gervais: You know I am. I’m impressed, but not surprised at how happy and positive you’ve remained. Even though you know you’re having a book launch in the midst of this. That’s not, that’s not easy, but I’m not surprised that you have a smile on your face. So, you know, do, tell me what, why now, why did you write this book? You’ve written so many others, you have so many other things going on. What was really the calling for you?
Susie Moore: I feel as if, you know, having been a coach, having been an advice columnist for a long time, hearing people’s questions, their struggles, I realized that there’s a really common thread amongst, uh, all of us who fear making a bold move, making a change. Actually actually even doing anything minor. I mean, wearing something new, saying something different, you know, standing out even in a small way. It’s not the fear of failing or the fear of getting it wrong that scares us, because as human beings we are resilient. But yeah, like, you know, look, look throughout history, look even how quickly we’re all adapting now. But what I realized that, uh, that we fear the most isn’t the failure or the mistake or the thing going wrong. It’s what people will say about us. It’s like the judgment that other people will put upon us that carries the most weight.
And because of that, we hold back a lot, right? We’re not, we’re often just not ourselves. We can kind of become a version of ourselves that other people like. We give up a lot. We don’t realize how few risks we take because you want to kind of play it safe and not because you know, anything that we do or try can really harm us. But because the, you know, the fear of, you know, what will this person or that person say or think is just really keeping us, keeping us, you know, held back and small.
Leah Gervais: Hmm. And so you just got to a place where you had seen it almost sabotage so many people for so long and you’re like, enough is enough?
Susie Moore: Enough’s enough. Yeah, and I compare that with checking your likes. Because like, it’s not all social media because you know, but media has become this very modern measurement of how well we’re doing, how well we’re living the life, you know, are we popular enough? Are we saying the right things, wearing the right things, they’re eating the right fish tacos, you know, for pricing, you know, whatever it is. And it’s certainly nothing new. It’s just very, very easy. It’s 24 seven and it’s public. So essentially, yes. I feel as if we, if we can make our inner like button even a little bit louder, if we kind of trust that and give more, you know, give more focus to that and our lives can change really dramatically.
Leah Gervais: And one of the things that really hit home for me that you talk about in the book is, you know, not just how we hold ourselves back because we’re afraid of what people will think, but also how we actually move forward with people with things because we think we should based on like what other people think. And you know that that obviously is something I see a lot here in New York because New York does have a lot of, I guess sort of just, I don’t know, I don’t want to say superficial success, but I guess prepaid success involved with these big corporate jobs with these very prestigious schools, et cetera. I knew, you know, told the story of how you’ve actually like had lunch with a friend and she had kind of done really well in her career and felt guilty about not doing the family thing and then done the family thing and then been like, I don’t even know if I actually wanted any of this.
Like, you know, you’re just so, it’s like this, this need for approval. It shows up both in holding us back and actually sometimes moving us forward and in a way that isn’t authentic to us. So my question is then, I know that you share some of this in the book, but for someone who is really resonating with this, but maybe even saying to themselves, this is, this is true, but I don’t even really know what I want, or like what I actually would do if I had this all stripped away. What would be the first kind of direction you point them in?
Susie Moore: Mm. Oh, it’s a good question. And if you have that question, you know, I don’t know what I want. I’m, I mean I’d say look around at your life. Really objectively. Just for a moment and think how much of this was my idea? Really. This job, the place that I live, how I spend my weekends, what I eat, what I wear. In fact, I thought it was funny cause I even share my book in the first chapter called “your parents F***ed you up” and it’s not their fault. We’re not blaming parents. I hate to hate or shame anybody. You know, our parents had parents. It didn’t stop with them. We naturally inherit beliefs from, you know, our environment. But I even shared that, you know, even a stylist in New York told me that a lot of the clothes that we wear as women are influenced by our mothers. We don’t even realize, it’s like don’t wear ripped jeans. Don’t wear a red coat. Like whatever it is.
Leah Gervais: I thought of like 10 different things I don’t wear because of my mother.
Susie Moore: Oh, I know my mom has some funny ideas about clouds too. You know, I listen to them. I would say until I tend to succeed probably unconsciously. It’s like, well no nice girls don’t read that. You know, this isn’t, this isn’t elegant, you know? So I think that sometimes even just the very act of questioning, a belief or how you’re living or thought that you just have on repeat in your mind, is it really yours? And you’re in the top 10% of people if you do this. Because most people never question anything. They’re like, this is how the world is, this is how people are and everything. I mean, reality is an interpretation, right? Everything is a perspective. And so thinking how, like how do I feel? Look around how much of this is my idea? How does it feel? Does it feel really satisfying?
Like do you feel Ooh, yeah, I wouldn’t change, wouldn’t change that. Always growing but yet, you know, satisfied where I am eager for the next stage, but good for now here. Like feeling good or are you feeling like, I don’t know. I don’t know if I like my city. I don’t know if I like my relationship. I don’t know if I like my job, I don’t know. I mean the body knows, right? Your emotions will tell you, especially over time, our bodies are very intelligent. And the thing is nobody knows what’s inside of you or what’s right for you. And we kind of come through our parents, but we don’t belong to them and we don’t really, we don’t belong to anybody. And what do you think about what it is that’s going to serve you? Only you know. If you say or somebody says, I just don’t know what I want, I would reject that.
I would say that maybe you haven’t tuned in for a while. Right. Well we know and even a very simple exercise you can do is if you really don’t know to start thinking of things you definitely don’t want. So if someone says, you know, if I don’t know what I’d like to do, you know, if I, if I were to, for example, work for myself, I’d say, well how about you start, um, you know, manufacturing guns, is that what you want to do? What about like, do you want to create like a greenhouse where you grow tomatoes? Like, no, no, no. Right. I mean even just through elimination, you become very clear on what’s warm or cold for you. So I wouldn’t, if someone says, I don’t know, I think that’s an excuse to not move forward.
Leah Gervais: Hmm. Yeah, I totally agree. And I think that just from everything you said, there’s like three really concrete steps everyone can take from this right now. I encourage you guys to do it as you listen to this episode. Well four. So one, ask yourself, what about my life was my idea? What about this did I actually want? Two, you know, recognize that if you feel like you don’t know what you want you do, and it might just be a matter of connecting me through intuition. And three, just make the list of what you don’t want. I have my clients do that all the time with business type things when they’re feeling like I don’t know which direction to go in. Well, let’s just eliminate it because sometimes that’s just as informative. So I love, I love that advice.
And so, you know, you, one of the things I love about you, Suzie, and in this book is that you’re, you’re just so brave. You’re so candid. You talk about the things you’ve been through in life, the things you went through in childhood, some of which, you know, are not lighthearted. You know, you, you, you’ve been through some stuff. I guess this is kind of a big question, but I’d just love to see where you go with this. When you look at some of the things that happened to you, like with your parents and that situation or the divorce that you went through when you were young, it feels like it all kind of lined you up to be, you know, courageous and a leader in this space of self-advocacy and believing in yourself and self acceptance. And so would you say it’s all worth it? Like how do you view it now on being on the other side of it and actually helping people all over the world with this kind of stuff?
Susie Moore: Oh, what a good question. Thank you. I feel as if, uh, yes, everything kind of leads you to the moment, right? And this is again, where our pallet is or it’s not depending on what we see is right. So, um, one thing that I love to do whenever I’m mucking with anybody who’s dealing with, uh, like a past issue or a current issue is, you know, the traditional psychology model of cause and effect, right? This happened and so then this is the case where, you know, um, I had this difficulty, which is why I can’t do this. You know? Um, for example, you know, I had dysfunctional parents, which means that I don’t know how to function in the world, or my parents went through an ugly and my parents weren’t even married, actually, I must say that you say, my parents went through it and I’ll get a divorce, which is why I can’t trust men or women.
Right? The one thing that I love to do is to flip those two. So just say for example, it’s, you know, my parents had an ugly divorce, which is why I can’t trust men. I would say trusting somebody and being vulnerable takes some courage and because that might feel scary, it’s easier to blame your parents. So it’s even a good excuse or a good reason which the world will sympathize with, it’s still an escape and it’s not healthy. It’s not helpful. Right. Unless you, unless you don’t want to be married to anybody, that’s fine. But then probably we wouldn’t be having a conversation about it. It wouldn’t be a problem. So it’s kind of taking away like the causes, the problem and seeing the cause is something else. And I feel, I mean in a way, anybody who’s had any adversity, any family trauma, any like addiction, abuse, whatever it is you’ve experienced, I feel as if, you know, what was that?
The greater the struggles you’ve had or the greater the what you know, what is either, you know, experience, the greater your contribution can be. And sometimes even the greater your destiny can be because look what you’ve like. Look what you’ve ever caught like liquid is you have to give to others. And I think that sometimes sharing our stories, this is why I work with the media so much, but sharing our stories, sharing after something happened, how you, you know, what you’ve learned, what it is that you have to contribute. That’s a very generous act. It’s a very, very kind of generous place to be and whatever is it you’ve experienced, you won’t be the first, you certainly won’t be the last, but if you can be, uh, if you can be okay, right. If kind of, if what you have through has been okay and you still managed to kind of, you know, forge ahead, then that’s a story worth sharing. And I feel like that’s my wanting to share with somebody my bizarre story because I’m like, if I tell somebody they’re like are you joking, you know like I talked about my dad having, you know, prostitutes at home or there being drugs at home. I mean it just being by quite wild, but it’s still being an example of, you know, that’s okay, that’s, but that’s not how I’m going to live. My life is going to be a little different.
Leah Gervasi: Right, right. Absolutely. And you kind of just answered this question, but I’m going to ask it anyway because I think you do a good job of like addressing it in the book and I’d love to hear your perspective on it, but when people have these adversities in life, when you have a divorce or you have a trauma in upbringing, or I’m a, I can use myself as an example. I’ve lost a parent. How and, and you do find the meaning I, I’d never gotten, I personally don’t like the phrase the silver lining because I don’t like thinking that there was like a net gain. It can be like there, there’s a, there’s a positive thing that happened. This was really hard and there’s a positive thing that happened. They don’t outweigh each other. My point, my question is when someone relates to what you’re saying right now and is open to the idea of finding purpose, finding hope, finding leadership through their challenges, how do they move past and how have you moved past the guilt of actually being okay with the fact that you got divorced young and not actually like feeling anything negative about it or you know, any of these other adversities that society almost tells us we should not be able to handle. You know, am I making sense?
Susie Moore: Yes. Are absolutely and a lot of people this up cause I’ve been off this before. No, I love it because, uh, I feel like the wealth can almost shame us into feeling certain emotions that aren’t, we’re not to feel again, I mean the emotions would be filled with thoughts that we think they’re completely connected festival. But also who gets to say that I should feel guilt around something? I mean, if you intentionally hurt somebody, that’s one thing right. Like that’s, we go around the trunk to hug people all the time. Like that’s a completely different thing to, you know, learning as you go. Trusting something that didn’t work out the way that you hoped, you know? Also the way that I talk about my dad, but I lost my dad when I was 19. I loved him so much. I still do. I didn’t feel that great sadness around that.
I feel like, I feel like he’s with me and you know, I always like to, you know, tell jokes that my dad would find funny. You know, even if people think it’s a bit weird and I’m like, you know, it’s up to me how I experienced my life. Right. It’s up to me. I lost and I feel like if you have a different way of looking at it that isn’t like the sad shot she told when something goes wrong and everyone’s uncomfortable. If you could have a different way of being around it then and bring it right, like being an example of something else. It’s no, if anyone judges how you feel or judges, you know, the way you process something I mean, are they Jesus?
Leah Gervais: Why them? Yeah.
Susie Moore: There’s even this old saying, I was reading that, you know, even God doesn’t judge us until the end of all days. I mean, even this, I mean, when people are so, uh, so willing to, you know, have an opinion about how you process your life, experience, your sadness, it’s um, it’s, it’s all about them, right? Like their own, you know, and it’s sometimes it says a lot of compassion too because sometimes people want to understand how we can be okay. And then, then that’s our job then to share, like how, how we interpret events, how we heal, like what we do that helps us. Um, that can be some learning in this I think if we’re open.
Leah Gervais: Yeah. Yeah. I love that answer. And that reminds me of one of my favorite chapters in your book, which was called “So What?” And like this chapter alone could probably save someone hundreds of dollars worth of therapy, like this two word phrase and just, you know, sharing how that’s helped you as a business owner deal with things that have really been challenging. Um, and I think it just kind of goes back to this what you’re saying right now, which is just that you don’t need to internalize, uh, other people’s projections of how you should live your life. And so I guess like a followup question to that concept, which is, well actually would you please summarize this “So what” concept for us before I ask more about it?
Susie Moore: So what. The next time you’re going to be offended, upset, humiliated, embarrassed, let down. What if you could just apply this to work questions. So what to any perceived problem because I tell you, you could take something and have a whole story about it and it can impact the rest of your life in some cases. Or it could be like a deer flick flick dust off the shoulder. What’s for lunch? I tell you. And if you want to choose the latter, then yeah, welcome to like this joy for life that you will have because we don’t have to accept the heaviness. We don’t have to take everything so seriously, so personally, so deeply. And what if we could just be lighter about it, you know, just like reflect it off. Say you know what, like whatever it is. I mean there I want to have this conversation between two women who are racked with guilt about one had pizza, one had something else. And I was like, I can’t believe I’m listening to this. Like it was in a line. And I was like, so what ladies, you know, if you don’t like it then don’t eat it again today or whatever. I mean there’s always a solution? But so much of the issue is just us making everything far more dramatic and a lot of cases than it needs to be.
Leah Gervais: Right, right. And I, and I love how you shared it, you know, applying it to like a main YouTube comment that you got.
Susie Moore: Oh yes. I’ve got loads of mean comments, Leah. I mean, yeah, I mean, it is nice. And by the way, if somebody, if you’re in business and you’re not getting mean comments yet, it’s a matter of time, right? I would expect it, right? Maybe somebody’s either quite new or they’re playing it safe. In my experience, if you’re not getting any mean comments at all, you’re, you’re brand new or you’re probably keeping it really, really safe. And even when you play it safe, you’ll find people who don’t like you. But it’s okay. I mean, mean comments. And this is what confidence is, Leah. People get it wrong, right? We kind of think confidence is so many things, and it’s not like we think you have to be a great speaker or you have to be able to dominate a conversation or be charismatic. And confidence is simply the ability to, to hold negative emotion in the body and being willing to do that. So for example, just say I have a mean YouTube comment and you know, yeah, that hurts. But knowing, Hey, this is going to pass, everything does, it’s not going to kill me. And then putting out another YouTube video. Right. That’s what confidence is, it’s putting out the next video, whatever that looks like in your life or business. Right. That’s what confidence is.
Leah Gervais: It’s, yeah. I mean, this is, so this really hit home for me. When I was reading that chapter, I was thinking, I think I’ve told this story before, but when my business was ramping up and I first started making five figure months, I shared it on Instagram. I was really proud of it-
Susie Moore: Yeah, you should be. You’re an inspiration, you’re an inspiration too Leah, that way.
Leah Gervais: Right, exactly. That’s like what I always think of is like the Leah who was in her cubicle, you know, wondering what the heck she was going to do. Like if I didn’t know or like I’m just, I’m sharing for the person out there who’s thinking I’m not happy, but I don’t know what else to do and I’m trying to be the voice that’s like, you can’t do something else. So anyway, I started sharing that I was, I’ve always been really transparent about it and a man who I am kind of friends with had the audacity to message me and basically tell me that he didn’t believe me, that he thought I could never have been making that much, blah, blah blah. I don’t actually think it came from a malicious place. I think he was just maybe surprised or like he went down a very different path than I did.
Like, you know, decided to do kind of like nonprofit work where you are somewhat expected to not have any money, not my problem. My point is, you know, that that hit me at first, you know, I had all these different reactions. On the one hand being like, I’m going to fight the patriarchy with his comment. Like how dare he, if I was a man, I never would’ve gotten asked this. So then thinking like, Oh, I’ll just block them. Like, you know, I don’t need negative people in my life. And then thinking like, Oh, well did I come off a certain way back in the day like that? He thinks I’m a lie. I don’t know. So I’m like Suzy, a few days later I’m at the point where I’m like, I’m just going to send him my bank statements and show him like I’m about to send my financial information when, if I just had this so what phrase? Right when I saw that message that could have saved me literally three days of how to handle this. You know what I mean? So it’s like, it’s amazing to see where places our brains can go.
Susie Moore: Yeah. And it really is because it takes him four seconds to write a DM and for days you’re thinking about this. Right. And it’s like, and then it’s almost like the jokes sold off when that’s happening. Right. Just because somebody might not be, uh, you know, that well informed. I mean is actually a call for compassion. If somebody doesn’t think that someone can make 10K or more in a month. I mean, yeah. Well of course they can and he just needs a little bit more self belief and you know, sounds like a bit of love to him even.
Leah Gervais: Yeah, I wasn’t at that place at the time.
Susie Moore: No, and you’re not immediately bad, but Leah, there’s nothing to prove. I know, I know.
Leah Gervais: You’re totally right.
Susie Moore: Yeah, there is a gorgeous line in the book “A Course of Miracles”, which says, in my defenselessness, my safety lies. Right? So like never defending yourself.
Leah Gervais: I loved the story that you told when someone called you out and you’re like never defend yourself ever. It uses people’s momentum. Great advice.
Susie Moore: Yeah, I mean, and people have told me, I’m sure I’ve got a lie in comments I’ve had, I’ve got comments around, uh, my looks, the fact that I hate men or something like that. That I’m a gold Digger, and again, it’s no one’s business, I could go into a whole tirade about how I, I’ve always outlined my husband did I at least have the number and it’s, it’s, it’s nothing to do with me. It’s like bolting like a street fight five streets away. It’s like, it’s nothing. It’d be, I think about, we only get a certain amount of energy per day, emotional energy. And I’ve got a lot of work to do and so do you. Important work.
Leah Gervais: Totally. Well one. So one thing that I feel like I have, um, you know, always kind of thought about as I’ve learned so much more about personal development and put myself out there more and had to learn to be my own number one fan is another thing I love that you talk about is how do you, what’s your thoughts and approach on deciphering, um, other people’s opinions and, and taking that on versus constructive criticism. I feel like we as a society almost are too okay with constructive criticism and it still ends up being too hard on ourselves. So how do you view the two of them and what’s your personal philosophy on digesting something or just totally letting it go?
Susie Moore: Oh, I would only take constructive criticism from somebody whose further ahead of me, frankly.
Leah Gervais: What a great policy.
Susie Moore: That’s it. I mean if somebody doesn’t, you know, it’s an author, hasn’t got a business, doesn’t do the work that I do. It’s kind of like someone asking me for parenting advice. I mean, I can throw out an idea or two, but it’s going to be worthless. You know and people love to give advice in general and we can’t stop them. Everyone’s, you know, it’s freedom of everything. But uh, if they’re further ahead than me frankly is my barometer.
Leah Gervais: Oh, what an awesome. That’s great, I’m going to adopt that right now. Unless you’ve done what I want to do. You don’t get a say on what I’m doing.
Susie Moore: Oh yeah, exactly. A secret benefit of that too is people who are further ahead than you, they believe in you already cause they’ve gone farther than you. Right. So they’re not in a position to be like, God know, or if you can do that, if that’s going to be possible. Cause they’re like, yeah, I’m ahead of you. And so yeah, come, come this way.
Leah Gervais: Right, right. They also don’t have time to be criticizing you. They’re busy doing things.
Susie Moore: Have you ever noticed that? Who’s criticizing you? People who are further ahead on the other people?
Leah Gervais: So true. Awesome. Okay. Well, my kind of, my last question specifically about this book is, you know, you’re talking to an audience of entrepreneurs here that’s mostly who’s here. And so what I’d love your take on, um, and I think that the whole book kind of answers this question, but you, you know, you really bravely share throughout there so much of what’s happened to you from like, you know, big things behind the scenes to also just like little things like these mean comments and things like that. Um, and for someone who’s reading this and is maybe newer to entrepreneurship and thinking, I love everything she’s saying, I so appreciate her candidness. And she has a very successful business. You know, she has had a multi six figure career. She is a female breadwinner, successful books, and they don’t feel like they’re on the other side yet. Where, where did you, and where do you recommend they find that bravery to still not take things on and know that, you know, we’re all in this together and we’re all at the same place, really.
Susie Moore: Yeah. So if you say you been the people who are kind of thinking maybe they couldn’t achieve it or they are early in the stages?
Leah Gervais: The people who are still being too hard on themselves because they feel like they haven’t achieved enough yet to let some of this sink in.
Susie Moore: Yes. Well I think that’s a common feeling amongst any high achiever, right? I feel like I haven’t achieved enough [unable to transcribe]. It’s a thought that I have, which I then have to question, reframe, you know, I’m in the right place to be, I’m always learning, you know? But I think it’s very, very common and if you’re having that thought, the good sign is that there’s a long way to go. Right. And there are a lot of things you need to keep achieving and good for you. I mean, you know how hard it is to do this stuff. I mean I think, you know, starting and being in a business of your own is the biggest self development journey there is. It’s, you have to be, someone else said this, that you have to be a pathological optimist to be an entrepreneur.
Leah Gervais: I love that.
Susie Moore: And it’s true. And the most important thing is managing your mind. This is why separates work with a coach like Yulia, because everything else can be learned, right? If it were all about the knowledge, we’d all have six packs, right? And we’d all be billionaires, right? Stock market, the leaders. It’s not about knowledge, it’s about our mind, our thinking, our beliefs, our ability to solve problems. And most importantly, our ability to keep believing in ourselves even when things are going wrong. So I would say that that’s probably your number one priority. Like managing your mind, managing your thinking, having a very kind of self directed mind and knowing that that’s possible. And that’s a decision you get to make. And that’s the wonderful part of it.
Leah Gervais: Totally. And I think another thing that you know, can apply to someone in that situation that you talk a lot about through the book is that, so many of us have this chicken and the egg scenario reversed the wrong way. Where we think once we have these achievements, we will be more confident. We will not care what other people think because we’ve already achieved X, Y, and Z when in reality, and I can attest to this in my own journey, I’ve achieved what I have because I started thinking in this way, you know, earlier on and having to get out of my own way to make these things happen. So apply it now.
Susie Moore: Yes, exactly. Listen to Leah. I just saw recently, Katie Perry posting a picture saying 100 million downloads or I don’t know, a billion downloads and she’s like, I’m still insecure. Yeah. So it’s like, I think there’s never a moment where you’re like, yep, I’m going to top of the mountain and got it all figured out. Like I’m good now. This is something that happens every day. So go easy. Enjoy it.
Leah Gervais: Right. And fall in love with the process because that’s what we’re here for.
Susie Moore: Just do your best, because you never really know what’s going to happen. So we don’t even know how limited our time is. So, if you don’t enjoy it, you’re missing the point.
Leah Gervais: Totally. Um, okay. I said, that was my final question, but I have one follow up question. Someone you know is going to pick up this book. They are going to do the exercises, they’re going to journal about your direct messages throughout it, which I thought was such a cute little time. I’m like, don’t check for likes. Here’s literally my deal. Um, what kind of transformation could they expect from this? Like what would feel different about their life?
Susie Moore: Oh, what a good question. Okay. So if you ask anybody what they want, right? They could say a million things. They might say, I want a yacht. I want a million, and what’s my endo business? I want a man or a woman. I want whatever it is. Joy is the goal of all other goals, right? Happiness is the goal of all other goals. So whatever you think you want, you want it because you think it will make you happy. Right? Right. And happiness is largely based on this feeling of freedom. That’s why we want money so much. I think that is why money is so desirable because we think equals freedom. And it does in a lot of ways. It gives you a little options, but I will say that freedom is available before you’d have to kind of do all of the things, acquire all of the things like choosing freedom as you know, as your birthright, to know that there’s freedom available to you and how you interpret the walls, how you can let other people’s approval not be part of your decision making, and the fact that you have so much more control than you realize, right?
The limits that we have, the majority of them are self-imposed. So I think that the goal for this book is to help you connect and realize your own freedom. Like because it’s there and it’s euphoric. Once you realize it, you’re like, Oh my God, I’m sorry. Freedom is the best feeling. I think it’s really what underpins happiness and it’s available to you. So I would like to make it available to more people.
Leah Gervais: I totally love that. I totally agree. True freedom does come from freedom of freedom to be who you are and achieve what you want and do what you want in this life. And this book definitely drives that home. So thank you so much for writing this, Susie. Thank you for sharing this with us. It was such a great book to read, especially during these times when we’re all needing to be, you know, have a better relationship with ourselves than ever. So it is probably not your favorite timing, but actually kind of good timing.
Susie Moore: Yeah. Knowing when the punches, right, it’s what you got to do.
Leah Gervais: It’s what you got to do. So, thank you so much. Where can people find out more about you and the book?
Susie Moore: You can head to stopcheckingyourlikes.com for a juicy book bonus for the end of April, but it’s also available anywhere books are sold.
Leah Gervais: Awesome. Thanks so much, Susie, for being here.
Susie Moore: Thank you so much, Leah. This was a blast.
Leah Gervais: All right, visionaries, we’ll talk to you soon. Here’s to your biggest vision.
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