Women’s empowerment is a popular concept, but what does it really mean in practice? Today’s guest brings the concept to real life every day in her business and in her work, empowering women to take control of their lives.
Shannon McGorry is a certified life coach and works with women, usually mothers, to improve the lives of their entire families but putting themselves first. She works with women going through a divorce to show up for their divorce in an empowered, confident, and strategic way. She also helps stay-at-home mothers rediscover who they are, beyond the role of mother.
Tune into this episode to hear…
- How Shannon’s shocking and painful divorce led her to find her life’s purpose (and her tips on turning YOUR pain into purpose).
- Shannon’s tips for putting yourself first, and how it’ll help others in the bigger picture.
- Shannon’s process with her clients to find their own life’s purpose.
Transcript of Episode
Leah Gervais: Hey visionaries, welcome back to the Your Biggest Vision show and your host Leah. And I am very excited to have at Shannon with us here today. Hi Shannon.
Shannon McGorry: Hi Leah. How are you?
Leah Gervais: I’m good. How are you?
Shannon McGorry: Great. Thanks so much for having me. It’s an honor to be here.
Leah Gervais: Oh, thank you for having me. So for all of you listening, you are in for such a treat. Shannon is one of my clients, one of my favorite, favorite clients. Not that I have favorites and I’m so excited for her to be here because she is one of the most empowering, thoughtful and just truly compassionate people. I know. And so having her with us today is really going to be so inspirational for all you out there, especially all you women out there and especially all you moms out there. She has a really great story, but she has a really great way of lifting other people up and I wanted to have her on because she has an extraordinary story of turning pain into purpose and you all know how near and dear that is to my heart, especially given what happened to me after losing my dad. So I really love highlighting anyone who can share something like that because though for me it was my dad. It’s not really about that. It’s just about turning pain that we all have. We really do all have it. I’m into something that matters. And Shannon’s done an excellent job. So let’s go ahead and dive in. Shannon is the founder of an amazing coaching company called Love, Strength and Grace. And you just want to give us a little background about your business, Shannon.
Shannon McGorry: Yeah, sure. Absolutely. So my passion is really focused on women, getting them from where they stand now to where they want to be. And that’s done by creating this inward shift in focus. So we’re not worried about what’s happening externally as much as we are getting these women in touch with their goals, with their hopes, their desires, and then putting in place intentional action to move them forward in pursuit of those goals. And really the trigger for me to focus on that was my divorce, but it’s a common theme among a lot of women is to be, you know, not lost but a little bit questioning who they are and what their purpose is. And so really to get them to focus in on their values in themselves is something I’m hugely passionate about.
Leah Gervais: Hmm. I’m so excited to unpack this more and I am so glad that this is what I mean. It’s one of the reasons I love your business so much. I just was talking on another podcast episode about how dangerous it is for people, entrepreneurs to get caught up in the type of business they want to start, whether it’s coaching or courses or blogging or whatever, because they’re not really leading with the mission that they have, which if you have a mission, it doesn’t matter which avenue you do it on. You can always, you know, get it out there. So I love that. That’s where you focus on and, and you are a certified life coach and you work with amazing women. But before we get into your business, I want to go back a little bit. So take me to your childhood. What did you think your career was going to be?
Shannon McGorry: So I grew up in a family and a close knit family. I’m one of five. I’m the middle child. So family has always been a foundation of my life. It’s just something that I’ve always been enjoyed being a part of and just having a lot of people around, a lot of gatherings, a lot of things to do. And so that’s always been foundational to me. I knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew I wanted to be a mom who was present and you know, involved in their kids’ lives and being able to see them watch and grow and do an experience with something really important to me. As far as a profession, I grew up in the, um, category of liberal arts colleges, so it was like go and then you explore and see what you want to do.
I had a great experience in college, studied abroad and felt like I got, you know, a good handle on a lot of different aspects of life. But personal development has always been a thing for me. I love to learn. I love to grow. I love to dig into the why’s and investigate things. I’m a very curious person. I ask a ton of questions. And so, coaching has been, you know, a great fit for me because it allows me to be present for my family, but to exercise that spot in my life where I am very curious and I want to help people. I want to dive into what it is that makes them tick and how are they going to live their best life? What purpose do they have? Why were they created, what are they meant to do with the gifts and talents that they’ve been given? And so it’s just been a really great fit for me.
Leah Gervais: So did you envision yourself owning your own business ever? Did you have an entrepreneurial bug?
Shannon McGorry: No, I really didn’t. It’s funny cause other members of my family do. And so once I saw that was possible and once I started to investigate that avenue a little bit more, it was like, wow, there’s this whole other world out there. And I’m so glad that I did. Um, because people like yourself are such a role model for what’s possible. It takes a lot of hard work. It seems like it’s this awesome, like, you know, just easy peasy go. And it’s probably quite the opposite of having a structured job because there are no strict boundaries and there are no, you know, no path in front of you. You get to create it. So I didn’t have that bug. Um, but I certainly do now, you know, based on what I, the program that I went through for my life coaching certification kind of opened that door a little bit. And then the other programs that I’ve been involved in have, have gotten me digging deeper into what’s possible.
Leah Gervais: Amazing. So, okay, so you didn’t really have the entrepreneurial bug, but you loved personal development. You’re obviously such a naturally compassionate person. Um, and then you get married. How old were you when you got married?
Shannon McGorry: I was 26.
Leah Gervais: You were 26. Okay. So you weren’t like crazy young. And then you have your two beautiful daughters and you are a stay at home mom at that point, right?
Shannon McGorry: Yes. So I was working and then I consulted from home when our first daughter was born and that was an awesome opportunity. And then when I, when I was pregnant with our second daughter, I realized like having 200, two and a full time consulting job probably wasn’t going to provide me the fulfillment and the balance that I was looking for at that time. So then yes, I became a stay at home mom and focused on raising them.
Leah Gervais: Was any part of that a hard decision? Did you feel like you’re sacrificing any part of your career?
Shannon McGorry: You know, at the time, Leah, I didn’t because back to my childhood, that essence of family really was just so ingrained in me and I knew I always wanted that. And so it was just very natural for me right now given the course of them events that I’ve gone through would I instill in my daughters, my nieces, other women, girls that I come across more of a forward focus to say you don’t have to choose one or the other. It doesn’t have to stay at home and raise kids. You can have a hybrid and you, um, it would be beneficial to consider that as you’re doing those things as you’re making those decisions and crossing those life paths. So no, it wasn’t a hard choice for me at the time. Given my course of events. It became something I looked back on and thought, hmm, should I have structured that a little differently? Ultimately I came to the conclusion that no, I shouldn’t have, because if I had, I wouldn’t have the relationship that I have with my daughters. I wouldn’t have had the experiences and I don’t regret that then based on where I am now, where they are now.
Leah Gervais: Great. Great. That’s so powerful. And I mean, I know the answer. I think anyone listening probably knows the obvious answer. The question I want to ask you is how are you instilling that in your daughters? How do we teach women that it’s an “an” not a “but” when it comes to your family and your career, you know, there’s this, this is something that, I feel like he’s talked a lot about, because women are wanting to work more than ever, but it’s still not that easy to solve. Right. And I know that you’re really doing an amazing thing by leading by example, like you’re showing your daughters, you’re starting your own business, but do you, is there anything else that you want to say to your younger self or you want to say to me as I’m about to get married, how to, how to think more consciously about the two practically speaking when you have a young kid.
Shannon McGorry: Yeah, because I do, I lead by example. So I say to them, you know, anyone in this chapter of life knows it’s now summer and so it’s like this vastly different 90 days. Then the rest of the year is, and so, you know, even recently the girls have said to me, wow, you know, like, what’s that going to mean for us now that you do have the business and you are working, like what’s that going to be like mom? And I said, you know, it’s really good for them to see, Leah because it’s like, okay girls, these are the chunks of time today were uninterruptible. And so let’s connect ahead of that answer any questions you have, get you all set up and then mom needs to do these things. And here’s the reasons why God gave me these gifts and talents. There’s other people that need my help.
There’s other women that need that are going through a real struggle, girls. And they need to connect with someone on that. And you need to do your thing. And it’s healthy for us to be individuals and then come back together and reconnect and like, what was your day like? What was my day like? And it’s healthy for them to see that the world doesn’t revolve around them 24/7 and it’s healthy for them to see me as a woman, as a professional, not just a mom, because it gives them that example to live into. So that’s just kind of like in the unspoken way. And then we do have conversations about like, okay, what are you good at? What do you love to do and what would that be like going forward with? Like how would you want to learn more about that and what would that be like if you know when you go to college and they’re little, so these are, you know, kind of high level things I do in, in so many words say to them, if I had to do it over again, I think I would choose something that I wouldn’t have to stop doing when I have my family that I could continue on and having support in place that would allow you to do that and still be very present for your family I think is where the magic happens. Because it doesn’t have to be this choice. You know, you can be fully present for your family. Very supportive, very involved and still have that which allows you to shine your light out into the world.
Leah Gervais: Right. I had chills throughout like that whole thing. But I think one of my favorite things is that everything you’re saying is an example of quite as spiritual belief, which is that God gives us, you know, what we need when we need when we need it. There’s always a way to do things. And so if you are raising your family and you need help, get creative, find a way to get support, find a way to have someone help you. We do not need to like think that there are limits on ourselves or what we can and can’t do. And you’re, you’re, I just love that you don’t even have to like say it explicitly to still be teaching that principle. And I think that that’s just amazing. Um, okay. But going back to your story, so you have your girls, you end up staying as mom for a little while and then a few years later, everything in your life changes basically overnight.
Shannon McGorry: Absolutely. Completely turns on its ear. And I remember sitting in a therapist’s office and it was the moment when I knew for sure that our marriage was over and it was like time stopped, Leah and I watched him walk out with a cup of Starbucks coffee. I could still see it very vividly. And I remember thinking the whole rest of the world is still going. Like there’s people going to Target right now and there’s people having lunch together and there’s people doing their normal everyday things and my life as I know it will never be normal again. And it was an indescribable moment. Those that have gone through divorce or a major life event or tragedy or trigger, know the feeling that I’m talking about and there just aren’t any words. I mean you can grab your heart and squeeze it to the point where you don’t think you’re breathing anymore.
Leah Gervais: Right. The moment of how is this happening? This can’t be happening. How did this happen? It’s completely paralyzing. Yeah. So what do you do in that moment? What did you do and what would you tell someone to do?
Shannon McGorry: Yeah, so it becomes very foundational to get back to the very simple but powerful things in life. So for me it was getting God involved. Praying a lot and getting support. So professional support via a therapist, via a coach, via whoever it is, whatever you’re dealing with that is armed and ready to walk you through that path. Getting support in, um, emotional support, support for your kids if you have them support for a significant other, if they’re involved and it’s really about taking care of yourself, mind, body, and soul. Because if you go down, the whole ship goes down. And this will not last forever. This chapter will not. The pain may never be gone. The high day can, may never be healed in the way that you stood before that event happened. But I firmly believe that we can all move on and grow and love again and have an incredible life despite whatever it is that has happened.
Leah Gervais: Mm. I totally agree and thank you so much for sharing that, that time with us. I feel like I can really feel it was like for you and I really can’t even imagine. One of the reasons I love, love is not the right word, but one of the reasons I think it’s important to talk about these, these moments of tragedy is because I think that in entrepreneurship, which anyone who’s listening to this show is most likely an entrepreneur. The best entrepreneurs… It’s not about how smart you are. It’s not like it’s not it. The number one thing I see is that it’s about how quickly you can say, this just went wrong. I just failed. No one bought anything. I don’t have any money. Like whatever bad situation is happening, and instead of going into some sort of spiral about it, instead of not sleeping about it, instead of creating a lot of drama around it. However, you can quickly think, okay, this is where I am, what’s next? And I think that what you went through and any sort of immediate tragedy or just any quick moment where your life changes, it’s that same principle on a much huger scale of course. But it’s one of the things that is the hardest, but the most important thing to do is to come to the place where you think, okay, I can’t live in denial anymore. This is what’s happening. How can I move forward? And how do you help your clients do that? And how do you help them do that while still honoring the pain? You know what I mean? Because you don’t totally close out what’s actually going on. But you also don’t want to pretend it’s not.
Shannon McGorry: Correct. No, you bring up an incredibly great point, and thank you for doing that because it is such a sensitive area when people are in pain and like, you know, they’re never going to be able to be whole again. Right? And so it’s vast. It’s so important to acknowledge the emotions that we’re feeling and we’re drilling it down to labeling that word so that it’s very understood whether we’re hurt or we’re devastated or we’re angry or we’re furious, like it sounds very simple, but when we can actually label it, so specifically, it really helps us to nail that down. And then we feel the emotion and I’m giving them tips and tools and strategies, whether it’s journaling or affirmations or a vast array of things that we’re doing to deal with those emotions. Because you’re right, you cannot put them under the carpet because they’re only coming back bigger and stronger and more fierce at some later date. So we need to get through them now and process them now.
The second point is this process is happening, right? So acknowledging that you can only, um, with divorce specifically, you can only draw off the process so long the process of moving forward, there are dates and times that are going to happen, whether you’re onboard and you’ve responded or not. So acknowledging that there are really two outcomes. You can stay in the point that you’re in for as long as you choose to stay there. Or you can start the process of moving forward. Because at the end of the day, we all get to the other side of divorce. But there’s two aspects that we’re in control of. One is how quickly we get there and how we show up for the process. So again, we can stay stuck in that victim mode and nothing will change. Leah, until we decided to change ourselves before we can decide to take intentional action to show up for the process, which will change who we are, we will be building habits as the process is unfolding that then make us different women on the other side of divorce.
And I firmly believe, and I’ve told my girls this too. Not because they’re their dad and I are not together anymore, but because of what we’ve gone through, I’m absolutely a better woman today than I was before it. And it’s possible for everyone, but there’s work required along the journey and it doesn’t mean that I’m not sad that that family unit isn’t intact for them. It doesn’t mean that he and I are our adversaries because we’re not. It doesn’t have to be, you know, you don’t have to brush it off and say like, Oh, I’m glad that happened. That’s not the case. I feel that deeply. I am sad that that didn’t work, but I have this one life to live. If I don’t take intentional action to be the woman who I want to be for my kids, for myself, for the world at large, then I will stay stuck in the past and I’ll replay those stories for myself and nothing will change.
Leah Gervais: It’s so important to not negate anything as you go through a huge transformation. You can be happy with how things have come out and be sad that this is what happened. It doesn’t, it doesn’t cancel each other out. I think one of the most powerful things that you do, Shannon, and one of the reasons I love your business so much and you, is because I feel like you’re really able to get women to a place where, kind of like, like what you were saying too where they’re, they can be even better than they were before or even happier or have a new chance to design life the way they want to. And for lack of a better phrase, it’s sort of like you don’t help them just survive the divorce or whatever transformation you’re going through. I know you help women with a lot more than divorce and we’ll get to that in a second, but you really can help them thread through it and kind of reinvent themselves and it is an opportunity. All pain is an opportunity to decide how you can have a, can you even better your life, not just sort of survive through it. When you’re in the thick of it though, that doesn’t sound appealing. You don’t want to sound like it’s not that exciting to sound like, Oh, I’m gonna somehow become better through this terrible thing. How do you speak to that woman that’s in that place when you know that she has so much potential and this could be and will be actually, you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and she just isn’t even excited about that.
Shannon McGorry: I take myself back to the days Leah, where I felt that pain. Where I was completely overwhelmed, where I was so hurt and so scared and so angry that I couldn’t see any sort of possibility. I’m like, this isn’t what I worked for. This isn’t the life I painted. This isn’t the future I imagined. And so I put myself back in those days and I try to sit with her in that space as she can cry, vent, process those emotions and we release that catabolic negative energy and just let her and I sit with her and let her be in that. And then we talk about the realistic next steps that are possible, that are in alignment with ultimately where what I know is possible for her. But she doesn’t yet jump that far. But we take the next step and the next step and the next step after that. So they’re small and they’re incremental. And I have the benefit of seeing what’s possible because I’ve lived that and I don’t have to articulate that to her yet. I just need to show her the next step while, while acknowledging and being very real with where she is in the present moment. To stay very encouraging to shine the light of hope while being very particular about what is right and real for her in this moment.
Leah Gervais: Mm. Oh my God, that is just amazing. And I love how you said earlier that your you know, armed and ready to go through this with that woman. And even though she can’t see point A to point Z, she can do point a to point B and you still have that bigger picture her at heart. It’s just incredible. So going back to your story, so this terrible thing happens and then you start a business. You’re a now single mom, and you go through this hugely traumatic experience and you decided to start a business in the thick of it. Walk us through that.
Shannon McGorry: So we were living in Tampa, Florida at the time when we were married and the divorce was happening and my former husband is relocating to New York City and we, the girls and I were relocating to outside of Philadelphia. So we had a 2000 mile move in front of us and the girls were little at that point, Leah. I had such an amazing experience in marriage and family therapy while I was going through my divorce. I just felt this calling to do the same, to help other women to see what’s possible. Like this does not have to be life is over. Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is heartbreaking, but it is not the end. And so I applied to get my master’s in marriage and family therapy got accepted. It was weekend accelerated. So it was Friday night, five to nine, Saturday nine to six, Sunday nine to six and then I would drive to New Jersey to pick my girls up and drive home on Sunday night. And then I’m studying, you know, they’re not in school full time. So we’re doing, you know, we’re onboard single mom, full time mom and then studying for my full time master’s, 60 credits I’m like adjusting, they’ve never seen snow before. We’re like, you know, new friends, new school, new house, like new family dynamic. I got to the point where I’m like, ah, what am I doing? You’re trying to run these parallels that I never had before. I’ve been able to focus solely on my family and now I have this other priority and how am I going to do this? And in the center of it was the storm and it just wasn’t, the timing just wasn’t meant to be like my girls needed me to be grounded in what was going on.
So I took a pause from my masters program and turned my eye to coaching, fell in love with the concept of the positivity that is in coaching. We’re going to talk about where you are and we’re going to acknowledge what’s difficult and what’s happened. But we’re looking ahead. The rear view mirror is not our focus. We’re onto what’s next. There’s a reason why the windshield is so much bigger than the rear view mirror. And so that’s where we’re looking towards. So then I decided to get my coaching certification. So I was in a year long program, very intense, hundreds of hours in coaching itself, coursework, group work, peer work, mentor work. Then I did a couple of entrepreneurship programs as well. Obviously, you know, that’s where you and I were blessed to meet. I was blessed to meet you and so…
Leah Gervais: It was very mutual.
Shannon McGorry: And so that’s really how I worked to achieve that and then start my own business and I couldn’t be happier.
Leah Gervais: Amazing. So, so specifically you like coaching or you do the difference for those listening and especially the woman who might be going through some sort of trauma. The difference between coaching and therapy is that it is forward facing.
Shannon McGorry: Yes, there are p really digs into the past and why things happen. And looking at the structure of like your family dynamic that you grew up in and sort of, um, more diagnosing what could be wrong and coaching is not associated with the medical professional field. So it’s not regulated in the same aspects, which actually opens up some doors for flexibility. Meaning we can do it virtually from anywhere at any time. It doesn’t have to be in a physical space. But you still have all the confidentiality clauses in place and their therapy is really driven by the therapist because they have all the education and knowledge and can diagnose, can pick apart, can use theory to assess the situation where coaching is really forward focused and client focused. It’s like if you come in today and you want to decide to talk about, you know, this aspect of the divorce where I’m gonna follow your lead, but I’m backed by all of the tools and strategies and tips and the knowledge to get you there to get you on that path.
Leah Gervasi: Right, right. Yeah. I mean, as you know, my focus is business what I work on with my clients, but it always ends up being just as much, if not more mindset. And in that way I do coach them. And what I love about it is it’s all about asking questions. It’s always about shining the light on what people can’t see within themselves. And I’m sure that’s hugely powerful given where your clients are at. So tell us a bit more about your clients, the women going through divorce, but I know that you work with a lot of other women too.
Shannon McGorry: Sure. And just to back up one step, both therapy and coaching have their place and there’s absolutely times where people need to be in both worlds because they will deal with different aspects of things. And so I am a huge proponent of both therapy and coaching. Don’t mistake that both are hugely valuable, especially in a process like divorce or loss or tragedy or something like that. So just to add that caveat. I’m a huge client of both and proponent of both.
Leah Gervais: Yes. Yeah. Thank you for clarifying. It’s important.
Shannon McGorry: Um, so the type of women that I work with, is that what you’re asking?
Leah Gervais: Yeah.
Shannon McGorry:Okay. So I really, um, working in a couple of different categories, but the base is the same. The foundation is the same. And the why is the same. The why a woman would come to me is because she’s lost a bit of herself. She’s lost a little bit of her power and she’s kind of searching for what’s next, how am I going to do this? Um, so for my divorce clients, it’s the women who are going through a divorce, whatever chapter, maybe they just found out like some things really wrong. They’re in the thick of it and the legal proceedings and they’re needing additional support and help where they could be, the papers could be signed and they’re trying to redefine themselves after this chapter divorce. Um, and so what we really do is dig into their values.
What is it that they want this outcome to be on the other side? We’re processing their emotions, moving them through those difficult conversations, interactions, um, momentous occasions than moving out of the house the first time they need to drop the kids off for the weekend. The things that no one really understands or anticipates but can be crushing in the moment. And so we’re digging into who she is, what does she want on the other side of this divorce and how is she going to show up to walk the process. I also work with groups of women who are stay at home moms who don’t feel like it’s enough anymore. And we kind of, we can get into a place where we’re feeling a little bit dull because the tasks are mononymous and they’re not always glorified and they’re not always gratified. And so you can be standing there thinking like, you know, all I did today was make a meal and pack a bag and pick somebody up and bring somebody home and ask questions for the test. And then it was time to make dinner and somebody needed a bath. And at the end of the day, what did I do? Where did I get to show up?
And I don’t say that in a selfish way. I say it in a very self care focused way and I know that’s a buzzword, but we were all created for a specific purpose. Yes, it can be in love and service of others, but that doesn’t mean that our place is not a priority. I think for so many women and moms in general, we put ourselves last on the list and that’s necessary when their babies, when they’re little, you know, when they need to be driven somewhere, when they need emotional support, of course we’re going to prioritize that. However, how are we putting that stronghold in our lives? How are we intentionally setting aside time, energy, effort to maintain ourselves, mind, body, and soul?
Because to go back to what I said at the beginning, I don’t think it has to be this choice anymore of am I going to stay home with my family or am I going to be a working woman? Now that doesn’t come without its challenges because you have to be very intentional and very set with your boundaries and have support and understanding around what that looks like. But it’s possible. So in both groups, in the divorce set, and also in the mom set, the work is the same because I think we as women, and I put myself in the first spot in this line, give away our power. I did it and I didn’t do it intentionally. I did it in the spirit of compromise because we got married and I thought, okay, this is what we’re going to do. He needs to travel for work or whatever and I want to be home with the girls. So this is a great match. But I didn’t preserve myself in that Leo and I didn’t hold my light strong. And so I became a wife and a mom and I consulted for work and I lived far from my family. So I tried to do other things to keep those relationships intact. And so it was this and this and this, and it’s like this layer of an onion. And what we really need to do is get back to the core of who we are so that we can be the best self so that we can care for those that we love and support and care about. I’m a better mom because I own my own business because I can say to my girls, this is what I did today and this is what I learned and this is who I am. And they can see that versus just existing for somebody else.
Leah Gervais: Right, right. Oh, so amazing. So what would you say? So a woman you know, will come to you. She’s a stay at home mom. Maybe she’s an empty nester. She or, or she’s not. She has young kids. She’s totally lost herself. I totally dig that onion thing. She’s way deep in there and cannot find it. What type of results or what are three outcomes that you usually see or that you, you know, hope you can get people to? I never use the word guarantee because people need to take responsibility for themselves. But what three outcomes could someone expect at that point? And I think for some reason, I don’t know why I like know this, but I often, I have often heard, um, some empty nesters or you know, people I’ve talked to… they’ll do this. They will, they’ll there, they’ll try to like, just try anything and see if it’s six and they’re not really doing it with a whole lot of an intention or just kind of trying to do something different. So how, what outcomes do you offer and how do you make the difference of doing them with such intention?
Shannon McGorry: So it’s about getting you, and you and I have talked about this, it’s about getting into alignment with who they are and what they desire. Because otherwise you get washed away by the two dues and priorities of everybody else. So we need to be very intentional about your priorities. And so we work on our top three values. Is it financial security? Is it your faith? Is it being physically active and fit? Is it nutrition? Is it, what is it? Because it’s different for all of us. So my habits that I’ve created to take care of myself are very different than anybody else’s because of my values may be different than yours. So we work on the top three values and we put in place a daily habit in of each of those three values. So we’re creating a habit of prioritizing herself and we need to work with her schedule.
So maybe she’s not a morning person, but she does have kids that are in preschool two hours a day. So there becomes a chunk of time that we create for her. So we’re getting in alignment with who she is based on what she values in life. We’re also focused on creating that habit of prioritizing her. And that’s all the mindset work. You know, we can’t be focused on everyone else all the time and expect to be happy and shining the light on who we are. And then another big chunk of the work we do is gratitude because I think that when we can take a step back and look at our life and have some perspective on all that is good and all that we have, you could live the same day and have a really different outcome based on your attitude when you’re looking at it from a place of gratitude.
And so yeah, you may have two little ones that are driving you insane and your brain may feel like applesauce at the end of the day. And I noticed to be true from my own past, if I switched my mindset and realize like, I chose this because the other alternative is I’m at work or I’m in an office and I’m calling whoever is with them or receiving the pictures of the mess that they made versus being the one who experienced the laughter. And I’m not trying to be like Pollyanna, everything’s great all the time. It’s not. But when we can come from a place of gratitude about all that is good and, and that, which is right, it really changes our mindset. And um, and there’s a lot of times women are like, I’m actually, yeah, you’re right. There’s a lot that I’m actually good with because I did choose it and that’s what I want.
Leah Gervais: Shannon, you were doing amazing work in the world. I love, love, love that. This is what we get to talk about and that this is the work that you’re doing. It’s, it sounds firing. Um, okay. Wow. So I’m blown away by your story. I’m constantly blown away for why, how you handled your divorce and the person you’ve become. And I just think that you embody your business name of love, strength and grace so perfectly. And I think we all are, you know, can relate on some level to the work you do to make sure people are living with the person that they are the person that they want to be and in alignment with who they are. And I really appreciate you even giving us tactical steps on things anyone can do, listening to this right now to make sure that they’re putting themselves first and that they are, you know, making it a daily habit too reflect on what they’re doing and the choices that they’re making in the way that they’re spending their lives. And I also really appreciate the clarity that it is not selfish, Miss. Say it again. It is not selfish. It is the least selfish thing you can do to make the most of yourself. You will be a better mom. I know I’m a better… I think about this stuff all the time. I’m better at everything when I, but you know, make sure that I’m taking care of. So, um, this was hugely helpful and very actionable. And I have a few speed questions for you, but is there anything else you want to share before get into them?
Shannon McGorry: No, just thank you so much for the opportunity. Um, I just, I adore you. You know that I respect you so much and I’m honored to be here today, so thank you.
Leah Gervais: Oh, thank you so much. You’re very inspiring. Alrighty. A few Your Biggest Vision questions. What do you do when it feels like the world or your daughters are fighting against your vision?
Shannon McGorry: I do take a deep breath and I step back and I get intentional with a prayer. And I did it this because this is our first day of summer vacation. And so that’s a big jump. It’s like a cliff we’re jumping off, you know, like everyone’s priority shifts and change in the schedule is different. And so I take a deep breath and I get intentional and I say a prayer to ask for God’s will and the strength to do what’s necessary in the moment. So for today it was to pay attention to the priorities and to be present for those that I love and care about while still working towards the goal and the will that he has set for me.
Leah Gervais: Beautiful. I love that you just grounded in spirituality and it even mirrors, you know, what we talked about earlier, about how you’re honoring what you’re doing today and you’re letting go and releasing and making sure that your faith is there and that you believe everything’s happening the way it should be for you. What are you most proud of in your life so far?
Shannon McGorry: Probably the woman who I am and I’m able to be based on my love and willingness to learn and grow.
Leah Gervais: Amazing. That’s something to be very proud of. What is a book or podcast that you recommend that helps you build your business?
Shannon McGorry: Any book by Bernay Brown? Um, I think she is an incredibly intelligent woman who has done a boatload of research on human development and human personalities. And I think she has so much wisdom in her delivery. She’s funny and I love the opportunity to learn from what she’s spent her life researching and working on.
Leah Gervais: Amazing. She’s beautiful. She’s incredible. Okay. This is not a your biggest vision question. This is a Shannon question because I just want to hear you say it and I feel like you’ve kind of alluded to it throughout our conversation. What would you say to the woman listening to this that wants to start a business or has dabbled in starting it but has been using excuses like, I’m a mom. I don’t have that much money. I don’t have that much time. My job is crazy at my nine to five. Um, anything else like that? In other words, putting everyone else’s needs before her own. If her true desire is to start a business, you are a single mom of two and you’ve done it so well. What real talk can you give us?
Shannon McGorry: Sure. So it’s, it’s about getting real with yourself. You look yourself in the mirror and is that what you really want? And if the answer is yes, then the second follow up question is, are you willing to do what it takes in support of that goal? And if that answer is yes, then you need to get real clear about what that is. What does that actually look like? Because we can think about it and dream about it all we want. But does that mean that you’re getting up at 6:00 AM to work for two hours before anybody else’s feet hit the ground? Or does it mean that you’re eating lunch while you’re working or does it mean that your not going to the gym three days because you’re working? What does it actually look like and are you willing to make that commitment to yourself? Are you going to show up for yourself and what support are you going to put in place to make that happen?
Is it a coach who holds you accountable? Is it a best friend? Is it yourself? Is it a parent? Like are you willing to do what it takes to make what you think you want happen? And it’s not easy and there will be sacrifices and you can’t be the same woman that you were then when you make these changes. And so there are things that are going to have to give or change or shake up and it’s going to affect others. So you need to be mentally prepared and energized and ready, and then you’re going to have to handle the ripple effect of those that it affects, that you love and care for. But if it’s really what you want, I have no doubt that she will make it happen.
Leah Gervais: Hmm. I love this device. It’s so important to remember that as you step into this person, especially for you entrepreneurs out there, as you step into the entrepreneur, as you really go for it and build your business, you are going to experience an incredible amount of discomfort, both in building your business and in your personal life and how much will change. But you know what else is uncomfortable? Uh, being broke, it’s also uncomfortable to stay. Exactly stuck. It’s uncomfortable to live with regret. You get to choose your discomfort.
Shannon McGorry: And without changing you. I mean this time of year is always very reflective for me, for, for most people it’s new year’s eve and, and that’s great too. But for me to end the school year is always like, okay, where were we last year? June 12th where do we want to be next year? June 12th and it’s only 365 days. But if you continue to compile that, it’s five at six years. And do you want to be in the exact same place? Cause guess what? Nothing else is the same. So why would I not want to adapt and change with it and be out in front of the game? Why would I, why would I choose to stay stagnant and just let life happen to me? I don’t want that for me or for anybody else actually. So that’s why I would love to empower her to what’s next. Let’s go.
Leah Gervais: I am like so pumped up after talking to you today. Anything. I’m like, Yay. I’m so happy this interview was on a Monday because I feel like this week I want to own it. Well, the one last question I have for you is where can people find out more about your work?
Shannon McGorry: Sure. So my website is lovestrengthandgrace.com. I’m also on Instagram and Facebook. Um, coach Shannon @lovestrengthandgrace and you can find out more information there. I have some free offerings. People can download a checklist for how to get through divorce. I have three ways to step back into your power and even if it’s labeled divorce, that does apply to the woman who’s, you know, just looking to get back into control of her own situation when she may have been giving away her power intentionally or unintentionally to other priorities in her life, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. So.
Leah Gervais: Hmm. Great. And we’ll have those all linked in the show notes for this episode. So if any of you guys are watching this or listening via my website, then those will be below. So thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, Shannon, you were hugely inspiring and I really appreciate your vulnerability here and I’m sure everyone in the audience does too. So thank you very much.
Shannon McGorry: Thanks so much, Leah. It was a pleasure as always.
Leah Gervais: Oh, you’re so great. We’ll talk to you soon. All right. Thank you, visionaries for tuning in. Here is to your biggest vision.
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